JoeTheDestroyer

About Me:

I write about video games and horror-related items. Also, I wear a hat.


I want to review them, but I don't want to play them.
July 26, 2017

I wanted my main focus to be Dragon Age: Origins over the next few weeks. However, two games that I've been playing lately have been taunting me. Both of them are awful, but I feel that it's my sworn duty to soldier through these abominations and give the readers my $0.02.

Alone in the Dark: Illumination (PC)

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Game Progress 7/21
July 21, 2017

Metamorfose S (PC)
I started this Symphony of the Night-inspired indie game. I'm not far, though. Expect a staff review eventually.


Axiom Verge (PC)
Burned through this wonderful Metroid love letter and completed the game with 97% of the map filled in. Whew.


Doorways: Prelude (PC)
Formerly known as Doorways: Chapter 1 & 2. I started this and haven't gotten very far, but it's piqued my interest so far. I just started chapter 1.


Dragon Age: Origins (PS3)

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Impressions thus far of Fire Pro Wrestling World Early Access
July 16, 2017

I almost never buy Early Access products. I made an exception with Fire Pro Wrestling World for two reasons:

1. I adore this franchise.
2. I've been begging for FPW on Steam for ages, mostly because of Steam Workshop.

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Game Progress 7/9/17
July 09, 2017

Pokemon Go (Android)
I finally got to try out the new raid system. Basically, during the daytime (there's a 9 PM curfew on this feature), gyms randomly spawn eggs that hatch into bosses. Some of these bosses are weak enough to take on by yourself, but most require one or two other players. If you manage to topple the boss within the time limit, you'll earn a chance to capture the creature using a certain allotted number of "prestige balls." If you run out of prestige balls before you capture the Pokemon, it will run away.

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The final Alone in the Dark '08 progress report ***SPOILERS***
July 01, 2017

I delved further into the museum, which consisted of mostly standard survival horror fare. There was one annoying scene where I had to craft a sticky molotov cocktail and attach it to a crawling creature, then wait for it to slither back to its nest. If my timing was right, the cocktail would explode and burn the nest down, thereby granting me access to the next hallway. The crappy thing was my timing was rarely spot on and the bottle exploded before he got anywhere near the nest. When that happened, I had to pad down the corridor and back to the previous room, temporarily drop some stuff from my inventory and grab the necessary items lying around: a handkerchief, tape and a glass bottle of flammable liquid. I then I had to go into my inventory and tediously combine all three of those

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Game Progress: Alone in the Dark 2008 Edition
June 26, 2017

Pokemon Go (Android)
Niantic revamped the gyms. The combat system is the same, which is disappointing. However, the rules have changed. It's not as easy to get bumped out of a gym, and anti-spoof measures are in place to prevent cheaters from running all of the gyms in town. Yes, spoofers still can cheat their way into gyms, but it's not as easy for them anymore, especially since a new feature negates ill-gotten gains by putting a red line through Pokemon acquired through cheating.

They also introduced raids, though I haven't been on one yet. I'd like to try one in the future, especially if they allow me to nab the Pokemon I don't have yet. Sadly, the one Pokemon I hoped to show up as a raid boss, Hitmonchan, is not listed as one.


10,000,000 (PC)

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My thoughts as I advance through the Alone in the Dark franchise
June 25, 2017

Alone in the Dark (original)
"It didn't age well, but I'm glad I got to see where the survival horror genre got its start. It's still a classic."


Alone in the Dark 2
"Okay, okay... The combat's awful, but Grace is just adorable!"


Alone in the Dark 3
"What... is this? It's like they're not even trying."


Alone in the Dark: The New Nightmare (console)
"No. No, stop this. Bring back the Lovecraftian stuff and graphic adventure elements. You're not Resident Evil. Stop this foolishness."


Alone in the Dark: The New Nightmare (portable)
"What have you done, you monsters? What are you doing to Carnby!?"


Alone in the Dark (2008)
"NOOOOOOOO! No! I don't want Die by the Grand Theft Resident Uncharted in the Dark!"

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