I can post pictures of asian ladies too.

Take all of that advice and you'll still probably fail. Remember, just because I'm recommending this game doesn't make me responsible for any damage that your iphone occurs as a result of rage. Yeah, the game doesn't pull any punches and sometimes wavers dangerously on the cheap side of challenging. Still, that makes it all the more fun when you do beat a level, despite the odds, and know that it had nothing to do with wussy Save Stars, but was all a result of your pure white-hot skill.

That's the problem with Metroid: Other M. It's a game that clearly understands what makes a Metroid experience great, so every time it chooses not to use that knowledge I'm left scratching my head and asking "why?"

In all areas, Kingdom Hearts: Birth by Sleep is a nice break from the traditional RPG experience. The story is engaging, the combat is fast-paced and the gimmicks work. The biggest indicator of its success, though, is the fact that I was captivated throughout three playthroughs. Never once did I feel like I’d “been there and done that.” That alone is worth a recommendation.

More than two years after its release, Fallout 3 remains as flawed as it is fun.

So there you go. Portal 2 might not have been the brain-teaser I’d hoped for, but it is too much a breath of fresh air in a world of stale design for me not to be impressed by it. If more designers did things like Valve we’d have... well, we’d only have one game released every two years. But it would be a goddamn incredible game.

The reason ICO is so difficult to capture in a review is because it is an experience that occurs in the negative spaces that its narrative leaves behind. From the moment you start ICO, you will be struck by how sparse it is. All the game gives players at the beginning is a situation: a young boy with horns is being placed inside a castle, alone.

Don’t think that Blue Lacuna works simply because it doesn’t have graphics or a bunch of explosions, though. Not all Interactive Fiction can claim to have achieved what Blue Lacuna does. This isn’t some throwback to sensibilities that have long gone out of style. This isn’t typing “east, west, and open chest” in a meaningless dungeon romp with some comedy thrown in. This is serious writing. This is next generation programming. This is gaming that is inspirational and lasting.

Roll forward, carefully now... get that goodie... this is all according to the plan. Oh dear god, I think I just took a wrong turn there! Quickly, remember what happened the last time you tried this. Do I jump once and then twice to clear the gap or is it once, roll a step, jump again, and then I’m free? Wait, why am I still rolling? Is that ice I’m on? Oh, Christ, it’s a pit coming up. Jump jump aw please jump. Is that a spring or a switch? Spring or a switch? Spring or a... oh, phew,...

There are darker skinned people in Freejia, but they exist only to populate the Diamond Mines or be sold to even worse fates in the dark corners of the world. After a trip to these human markets, the cherry blossoms and the content demeanor of most of the town’s residents seem a sick joke. The heaviest feeling of despair comes not from seeing those who suffer but from witnessing the ignorance of those who don’t.

Hel, the female ruler of the Norse underworld, has kidnapped the Norns and corrupted the tree of life in an attempt to usher in Ragnarok. All that stands in her way is one pimply, red-haired youth with a hammer. Thor, though still in his infancy, vows to defeat his nefarious cousin, return order to Midgard and to do it all quickly enough that the player can be home in time for supper. At least one of those things will occur. Clocking in at roughly four hours, Young Thor is a really short ...