Staff reviews, page 199

Staff NES

Monster Party review

There’s just something about this game – maybe it’s the unhappy looking skeletons bathed in an ocean of blood, I don’t know – that tells me Nintendo didn’t screen it for potentially offensive content quite as thoroughly as they normally do.

Sho · June 9, 2005

Staff Sega Master System HG exclusive

Zillion review

Even though the game's based on Japan's version of Lazer Tag, THIS IS NOT A LIGHT GUN GAME. It's something far more stimulating: a multi-character stealth action puzzle shooting game. If that isn't clear enough, put on your Crazy…

Zigfried · June 8, 2005

Staff Genesis HG exclusive

Techno Cop review

It’s as if the programmers realized the sum of their efforts was barely playable and that no one would ever persevere to the end; feeble developers, I salute your painful honesty.

Sho · June 7, 2005

Staff Arcade

Operation Wolf review

Enter your location of choice, and you’ll have no time to get acquainted with the serviceable backdrops that signify your surroundings because, with little reasoning behind it, hoards of gun-toting thugs will spring forth from the…

Gary Hartley · June 7, 2005

Staff Genesis HG exclusive

Streets of Rage 2 review

Streets of Rage 2 is, apparently, one of the most beloved Sega Genesis titles ever created – rarely have I found so much near-unanimous gushing praise for a side-scrolling beat-‘em-up. I’ve read more than once that this is the best brawler…

K T · June 7, 2005

Staff PC

Serious Sam: The First Encounter review

If a shooter's DNA is in its enemies, then The First Encounter is an impossible monstrosity, all bones and steel and slime, standing ten stories high. Dumb and furious, it hurls anything it can and charges, unconcerned for itself. Why…

Daniel Forbes · June 6, 2005

Staff PlayStation 2

Mobile Light Force 2 review

Having played the game, I know now that I could have done very well without experiencing MLF2, thank you very much. Aside from its corny cover, and the fact that the Mobile Light Force acronym can be sounded out as “milf”; there’s very…

Marc Golding · June 5, 2005

Staff PlayStation 2

Stolen review

Stolen is a stealth title featuring a sexy female thief, and in a world dominated by ultra-cool and macho Solid Snake types, the black leather clad Anya Romanov (think Underworld) is a welcome as well as delicious sight.

Marc Golding · June 4, 2005

Staff Nintendo 64

Neon Genesis Evangelion review

Based on the hit anime series of the same name, Neon Genesis Evangelion for the Nintendo 64 would initially appear to be what every Eva fan could ever want: a stunningly realized action game, featuring more giant robot action than you…

Michael Scott · June 3, 2005

Staff SNES HG exclusive

True Lies review

Considering all the options available these days, there’s no excuse for True Lies to continue existing. Someone should gather the cartridges, bundle them with a two-ton weight and toss them into a massive swimming pool. Then maybe Arnold…

Jason Venter · June 2, 2005

Staff SNES HG exclusive

Battletoads & Double Dragon: The Ultimate Team review

There’s a reason for this irritating flaw, though: Rare wanted you to play with a friend. Though the game lets thugs gang up on you and throw you into an endless circle of punishment, you and a buddy can turn the tables. One of you can be…

Jason Venter · June 2, 2005

Staff PlayStation 2

Dark Cloud review

But the very worst thing about Dark Cloud is that by the time you’ve played enough of the game to realise what a dull experience it is, you’ve invested so many hours into your adventure, that giving up means damning all your work into…

Gary Hartley · June 2, 2005

Staff PSP

PQ: Practical Intelligence Quotient review

When opening a review, the writer is supposed to talk about something that's relevant to the subject at hand. A theme must be established and through a series of brief observations, readers should be given a glimpse of what is to come. I…

Michael Scott · June 2, 2005

Staff GameCube

The Legend of Zelda: Four Swords Adventures review

Nintendo's commitment to creative design is clear, but it can be difficult to enjoy when it comes in a form seemingly fathered by the same ruthless pimping that sees Mario crying himself to sleep at nights.

Daniel Forbes · June 1, 2005

Staff PlayStation 2 HG exclusive

Metal Slug 4 & 5 review

Metal Slug 5 is certainly worth playing through a couple times for the splendid sightseeing, and once again after that for the stupendous boss battles; as a fraction of a larger compilation, it'd be great. As the saving grace of a $40…

John L · May 30, 2005

Staff DS

Sprung: A Game Where Everyone Scores review

Sprung is being caught by your mother, jerking off to a lingerie catalogue. Sprung is feeling up your best friend's sister as he walks into the room. Sprung is a terrible, terrible game, and one that's every bit as embarrassing for UBI…

Michael Scott · May 26, 2005

Staff PlayStation

Pepsiman review

The problem is though, how do you turn a popular series of TV advertisements into a half way decent video game? OK, so there's no easy answer. From a purely corporate perspective, you'd probably want to fill such a title with any number of…

Michael Scott · May 22, 2005

Staff PC-FX HG exclusive

Kishin Douji Zenki FX: Vajra Fight review

When the frog-like demon Razurou zooms by on his personal jet and the fast-paced battle music kicks in, it's hard not to be distracted by the ridiculous number of clouds scrolling through the sky, and that's part of what makes the ensuing…

Zigfried · May 15, 2005

Staff PC HG exclusive

The Secret of Monkey Island review

Pirates are awful at grading video games -- they always get stuck at C.

Gary Hartley · May 15, 2005

Staff NES HG exclusive

Friday the 13th review

At first, you’ll be reduced to throwing lowly rocks at a being so untouchable that, according to the films, shotgun blasts don’t even affect him.

K T · May 13, 2005