About Me: Taking up all the good oxygen. Find me complaining on twitter under @EmPitude. I only forget it exists for months at a time, now.

My PC is held together with duct-tape and my new wi-fi modem is the most expensive piece of junk in the world.

I'm 25% back online. This may get better or worse in a heartbeat and I have no idea which way it will go.

Just a heads-up. I know you all missed me.

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I'm going to do something a little taboo and actually blog. And I'm going to blog about something none of you care about. No, not genj's new musical interlude or the ongoing debate over how many figures OD's age has strayed into (my money is still on three), but on football.

And not your dull American football nonsense.

We do not allow girly sports in the Arena of EmP.

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I'm going to put an end to all the holiday questions that almost everyone had flooded me with. Almost everyone because Veems is only capable of talking about herself, Boo seems to have saved a week's worth of maths nerdery to dump on me upon my return and all Jason has said thus far is "You're back? Get back to work!" and made whipping noises.

The holiday was not that great. It was a last minute thing that I decided to do because I was all kinds of burnt out. England was about to get hit with huge winds and whipping rain, so I figured why not?

Me and a friend decided to go to Mallorca and we did this based purely on what we were sold in the package. £50 bought us an all-inclusive deal which means an open bar and as much food as we can eat. When food is free, I eat a lot of it.

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Observe, in fear if you will, as I type without fear of odd keystrokes!

Last days have been lazy as hell. Took on the 54 hole crazy golf course and finished it off in a morning. It was a good time killer, provided beer and I would play again. I'm somewhat annoyed that most of the stuff that I had planned to do this holiday doesnñt actually start until the day after I leave. This leaves the adrenaline junkie in my very sad. But the lazy guy in me pretty happy.

Thinking about hitting the sights, but the sights are so tourist happy, I may as well have stayed at home.

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Observe the unneeded extra keys on my Spanish keyboard! ç¿ñªº

Flight didn't crash and burn, which is a plus, and I managed to get out of England just before half the country vanished underwater. Flew on Easyjet, which meant we had to have a frantic fistfight to get seats that weren´t situated on the wings. One of the cabin boys clearly fancied me.

First night here houses a violant storm with thunder and enough rain to flood the swimming pool. It also killed the TV reception. I complained.

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I've just come back from finishing off Mass Effect, a game I very much enjoyed.

It had some problems in it, and I'm hacked off at not getting my promised achievements right now (I lugged the same two soldiers through the vast, vast majority of the game, one of whom never left my side once, to collect two achievements, and I got neither for no reason whatsoever) but it was a solid as hell game. When I heard that it was going to be a venture into third-person shootery, I was concerned, but the mechanic was pulled off well and even the MAKO vehicle missions became enjoyable after the 10 hours into the game, I learnt the rover had a bloody cannon as well as a machine gun (My non-manual reading fault rather than the games. I didn't discover the maps until 13 hours in, either)

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[I recently got asked by a friend to help him out with his attempts to make it as a writer. The guy is super-talented so I agreed to post his question here on the off chance any of you would show any interest.]

As most of you probably don't know, I finished a novel about half a year ago. Most of you probably don't know this because it was too long to try posting on the boards - and also because the few people I've given it to (ahem) have each bogged down attempting to read it, and I've subsequently lost a bit of hope regarding it. ;_;

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