EmP

About Me:

Taking up all the good oxygen.

Find me complaining on twitter under @EmPitude. I only forget it exists for months at a time, now.


Project Referb: August 2020
September 01, 2020

The Idea: Every week or so, to take a review that's unexplainably racked up a lot of rapid fire hits for reasons no one will ever understand and update it. Not rewrite it completely, but tidy away sections that have maybe not aged well, add screenshots where applicable and update the tagline in order to promote that punlife I have chosen. The site's undergone a lot of changes over the years, and the formatting once used has aged. For example! I remember the first time I played around with putting screenshots in the body of my review then tourney and/or RotW judge, Jerec, wondered out loud if it was a form of cheating. It's not my intention to rewrite handfuls of old reviews, just bring them a little up to date. If I can retrofit a pun tagline in there, all the better.

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4 comments


Gary's Graveyard - Vol I
June 12, 2020

Some time ago now, I abandoned traditional writing apps like Word and now do most of my work directly into Google Drive, which has most of the same tools, lets me access it from anywhere and hard saves my work because I have an annoying habit of losing it to rebellious PCs and my inability to save stuff correctly. It's worked out pretty well for me, but it does have a darkside; every now and then, I'll find something that I started working on many moons ago that I had abandoned or forgotten. Sometimes, I have zero reason for this. The best example I have is for a review I wrote for a game called Residue. It was made by a little indie dev who made an interesting little horror game previously, so I picked this up more or less on day 1, promptly wrote a review and then forgot it existed f

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2 comments


Things I Am Playing - February
February 20, 2019

I came into February at the end of a pretty productive run, but still with a lot on my plate. The new ToeJam & Earl releases at the end of the month; Sunless Skies was a late hour edition to my pile, as was Re-Legion. My plan was to buckle the hell down, focus everything on those and give myself a little bubble where I can catch up on side projects and be shiny clear just in case SEGA drop another Yakuza review code that will probably take over my life. The latter absolutely happened. The former did not. Because I got ridiculously ill.

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9 comments


Stuff I've Been Playing -- January
January 20, 2019

Project 32X


What I figured would be a dumb bit of fun we, as a site, would knock out in about a year has turned into a grueling solo project powered by bitterness and spite.

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7 comments


Yakuza 0 Blues
August 05, 2018

I want so hard to love Yakuza 0 now it's got a very fairly priced PC release, but it actively fights me every step of the way. For one, it's buggy as hell. You have to actively trick it just to get the bloody thing running.

I installed it, and it crashed seconds later. Uninstalled, ran it, same thing. Tried numerous fixes and eventually got it to boot up by unplugging my gamepad. Second loading screen say "Real Yakuza uses gamepads"

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One Sentence Reviews v3 - 32X Edition
June 17, 2018

::After Burner::

The best version of this game until the next one was made.

::BD Racers::

A bad clone of a Mario Kart clove populated by mascots you probably never knew existed.

::Blackthorne::

A thinking man's action platformer made by Blizzard before they took over the world via MMO.

::Corpse Killer::

Why the hell did Digital Pictures release this awful game three bloody times?

::Cosmic Carnage::

Updated a generic female sprite from the original Japanese release so that she was, instead, constantly on fire for exactly no reason.

::Darxide::

The most expensive bad time you can have this side of buying a Nottingham Forest season ticket.

::Doom::

Better than the 3DO port and maybe the awful SNES one.

::Fahrenheit::

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1 comment


Yesterday // Non-commentary Walkthrough // Complete
September 13, 2017


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