About Me: Taking up all the good oxygen. Find me complaining on twitter under @EmPitude. I only forget it exists for months at a time, now.

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I've been playing SO4 on and off for a while now, and it's getting by on nothing but its battle system. The plot isn't as clever or unique as it thinks it is, the characters are almost uniquely annoying and the dungeon layouts are often infuriating.

I’m in one right now when, to progress, I had to light urns on fire in a certain order. That was okay: there was a knight statue in the corner who pointed his halberd at the urn I needed to light, I did this, and secret walls opened. Then it happened again. And again. AND AGAIN.

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RAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEEE!

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EPISODE ONE

Area 88 is a Japanese anime about Area 88, which is a secret mercenary encampment. There is only one Japanese pilot there. He is the best

A Japanese photographer arrives and takes photos which makes lots of people angry. The pilot and the photographer hate each other until they form begrudging respect because of EXTREME photo taking.

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EPISODE TWO

Boris is introduced as the best pilot in Area 88.

Boris “I am strong, but secretly remorseful despite the openness I display this remorse with”

Boris is called a God of Death, allowing the anime to say Shinigami at least one ever two sentences (seriously).

Boris dies.

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EPISODE THREE
se pilot shoots down a transport plane. Everyone looks for it thinking it’s full of gold.

It’s not.

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EPISODE FOUR

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Like Zig has done in the past, I have decided to let you, the unwashed masses, decide on what I review next. Unlike Zig in the past, I'll actually review what the majority decide.

CURRENT LIST:

Band of Bugs (XBLA)
Resident Evil 5: Untold Stories (XBOX 360)
Breath of Death VII (XBLI)
Secret of Monkey Island Collectors Edition (XBLA)
Sam & Max 302 (PC)
Uno (Sadistic choice)

Voting starts now. Voting closes whenever.

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Current number is at 400,574. Which is a pretty nice number. Perh0pas adding a slew of new obscure XBLI games will help the number slowly chug away until Masters catches back up. At least, if he wasn't a complete slacker.

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My thoughts on the next XCOM. Most of you might want to skip to the next paragraph

Obviously, I’m not overly optimistic. I’m not sure how 2K are going to be able to turn what’s probably still the defining TBS into what’s probably going to be a new reworking of the Bioshock engine. I’m not going to write the game off so early though; that would be dumb. The guys bought the license because they think as highly of the original games as me, and that makes me think that they don’t just want to milk it for what its worth. Anyway, even if it does suck, it’s not going to diminish my enjoyment of my favourite game. XCOM Enforcer was god awful, but it did me no harm.

What you all probably wanted to hear:

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I'm sorry I've not been around to try and bully the judges through the tourney quicker. This absensce is going to have to continue for a while while I stop doing almost everything else in my life right now to focus on my health. I should have done so years ago.

I'll be back with new things to complain about at an undisclosed date.

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