EmP

About Me:

Taking up all the good oxygen.

Find me complaining on twitter under @EmPitude. I only forget it exists for months at a time, now.


PRAISE/BASH
September 14, 2006

In memory of the cool Praise/BASH tournmey we held years back, here is the last PRAISE and BASH e-mail I have reciewved from my fanbase.

PRAISE!

Dear Emp,

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3 comments


The Janus game
July 10, 2006

I have discovered a fun new game.

What you do is go the the featured reviews list, pick a random Janus review and then guess to see if he's deleted the bloody thing or not.

75% of the time, the answer is yes. He has.

8 comments


Take this, Mario!
July 06, 2006

The joke review that prompted a Bacon hissy fit. Enjoy!

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Sometimes you want something to happen so badly that your expectations soar. You throw away guarded optimism and instead expect perfection. New Super Mario Brothers is that kind of title; one that flat-out promises a perfect slice of retroactive insanity based on an updated old-skool foundation. In this, it fails.

Well, no, that's not exactly fair. If you mindlessly play the game with your brain turned off, you can enjoy the experience. But dare to take a peek beneath the brightly coloured veneer, and you'll find a game engine that ran out of steam long ago.

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8 comments


EmPs year in review -- a clever pun.
January 14, 2006

This is the best year of reviews post of the year!

Conflict Desert Storm II
December 18th 2004

My first HG review and maybe my fith or sixth overall. I liked it a lot back then, no one else did. Bob gave it a third place in the RotD, I recall, beneath an Auto win and someone else I can't remember. I can still read it now without many complaints, though, and it was close enough the the start of the year, so it gets mentioned!

James Bond 007: Everything or Nothing
December 21st 2004

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3 comments


Oldie, but a goodie
December 08, 2005

Went into my realm today to play with the avatar listings and decided to rescue an old journal entry: Enjoy!

This just in - salvating fanboy attacks 9/10 review for inadequacy (February 27, 2005 - 11:31 AM)

Today I received a rather interesting E-Mail marked up as simply 'Zelda review'. I don't know what I was really expecting, seeing as the only Zelda series review I've written was quite recent, awarding 9/10 to the rather sublime Links Awakening. However, the fact that the senders E-Mail was blocked gave me a clue to the substance - which I'll share with the unlucky few who stumble across my humble realm.

I assure you the typos are those of the anonymous culprit from here on, and not my own.

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I clicked unhelpful on you're review.

[read the full post...]

4 comments


RotW: State of play.
November 11, 2005

I was hurt to find that after bearing my soul on the horrific events that have left me physically and mentally scared and led to my W&WX:FoF review that sympathy didn't pur from all angles. Thus far, the most commonly asked question was if it really didn't make it onto the RotW.

It didn't win. It didn't get a placement. It got a footnote at the end where Jason commented it was 'mostly' entertaining.

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5 comments


I am the walking dead!
November 07, 2005

Some of you are actually surprised to find out that I spend a hell of a lot of my time bent, burnt, bruised and broken. This surprises me, because I made this obvious early in my HG career.

March 12th 2005 was when I submitted my Wizards & Warriors X: Fortress of Fear review, and it pains me to learn that people out there actually thought it was a clever bit of gimmicky writing. It is with this in mind that I have chosen to revisit my legendary write up -- the very review that the mighty Zigfried describes as my breakthrough review!

Observe!

[read the full post...]

5 comments


Additional Articles:

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