EmP

About Me:

Taking up all the good oxygen.

Find me complaining on twitter under @EmPIAm. Or not.


Overly Verbose Super Song Intro Challenge Extravaganza
January 18, 2016

There's a thing a bunch of friends (which I do have, thankyouverymuch) and I do every year around New Years where we take a bunch of song intros and then make the wording overly verbose and just a bit pretentious. We make a drinking game out of because of course we do, we're English. This year I managed to save mine in a mysterious word document that I recently discovered and figured I'd see if the collective minds of HonestGamers could riddle them out. No one's got all ten yet. Some are very easy, but all are of well known songs you should have at least heard of.

As follows:

[1] Independent Women - Destiny's Child

attachments to a male counterpart.

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19 comments


Year in Review 2015
December 31, 2015


FTL Ė [PC] Ė January 4th



The review that would have completed Alphamarathon 2014 had I not decided to never get past the initial draft stage and concentrate instead on getting stinking drunk and then being hungover for the last week of the year. Alas! Iíll have to console myself with just my winnerís medal.

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3 comments


Gaming Progress - working around the dead PC
December 04, 2015

My PC died. Again. The first time it crapped out earlier in the year wasnít a big deal as it gave me an excuse to replay Longest Journey on the battered laptop, and then dust off the 360 and smash through Dreamfall again. It was all a plan to help me out with Dreamfall Chapters that was insisting that I remember small details from games Iíd beat a decade previous which I was cool with because I love those two games. Only now do I realise that with the PC dead, Iíll probably have to start Chapters from the start all over again. Crap.

Dreamfall Chapters: Book One - Reborn (PC) image

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2 comments


Q & A - The Skyshine Edition
September 28, 2015

Maybe you missed it because you've been too busy nestling among Nintendo's family friendly releases or you've already surrendered to the new wave of "press X to win" games showing up in increasing numbers on modern platforms, but Skyshine's BEDLAM was released recently. I really liked it, and recently had the chance to ask some questions bout the game's direction, the consumer backlash it suffered on launch and the subtle difference between mutant brutes with corrosive spit and zealot cyborg snipers sporting anti-matter launchers.



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One Sentence Reviews v2 - 32X Edition
September 19, 2015

::After Burner::

The best version of this game I have yet to play.

::Corpse Killer::

Why the hell did Digital Pictures release this awful game three bloody times?

::Cosmic Carnage::

Updated a generic female sprite from the original Japanese release so that she was, instead, constantly on fire for exactly no reason.

::Darxide::

The most expensive bad time you can have this side of buying a Nottingham Forest season ticket.

::Doom::

Definite OD fodder -- still miles better than the SNES port.

:: FIFA '96 ::

Stuck between the cart and CD version; the football game no one asked for or wanted.

::Kolibri::

Still (arguably) the best hummingbird based puzzle/shooter hybrid on the 32X.

::Primal Rage::

An entire arcade board version behind the SNES port

::San Goku Shi IV::

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1 comment


First Impressions Ė RymdResa
August 01, 2015

RymdResa describes itself as a poetic space odyssey which is weird Ė thatís weird, right? I wasnít entirely sure what I could expect when presented with a game described as such. It goes on to say how itís a combat free exploration game that uses abstract poetry in an attempt to convey the crippling isolation of space. My first playthrough ended in my explosive death thirty seconds in.

As did the majority of my attempts. You start the game stranded in the dead of space with no real clue as of what youíre doing and why. Thereís a vague pointer herding you in the direction of, I donít know, something, and in following it I almost always fell afoul of a meteor shower or got sucked into the gravitational pull of a nearby spiteful sun. Stupid, stupid suns.

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3 comments


LOOT Interactive Q&A response
July 21, 2015

Q: How do you intend to return all those hours Iíve pumped into Velocibox?
A: Well, we canít return the hours but we can offer you an amazing PS4 dynamic theme which is included in the bundle at launch. Trust me, it will ease your pain ;)

Q: I saw scrolling yellow column walls in my sleep for months. Why would you inflict this on a whole new platform?
A: It is so nice to hear that I am not the only one who has had Velocibox infect my psyche. At LOOT Interactive, we are always looking for games that present players with a real challenge. Needless to say, Velocibox definitely fits the bill. It is a unique game that translates extremely well to consoles. We are excited to share it with the PlayStation community.

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Additional Articles:

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