Taking up all the good oxygen.
A while ago now, I was tricked into seeing Terminator 4. I say tricked because when we left the house, I though we were going to the pub. When we drove past the pub, I assumed we were going to a different pub. There was no pub. There was only something that had about the same effect on my poor brain as a cerebral bore coated in pure proof vodka.
I suppose it would be fair to say that if you turned off your brain then T4 isnít an awful film. The effects are okay, thereís action aplenty and no actors in the thing are stand out awful, but the entire film seems to have been penned by particularly de-evolved monkeys. The ones you usually find working under Michel Bay.
How many of your reviews have over 1000 hits? I have a hundred. Because people dig me.
Today with the double release of Junior Classic Games and Mystery Stories, Iíve stepped over the 200 review mark for HonestGamers. We shall now pause in wonderment that Venter has yet to erect a shrine in honour of all the free labour heís squeezed out of me over the years.
Pause silently, and the galling lack of hammering hits you harder still.
From an online blog I found on the hit-tracker that linked to my latest Darts review. Not sure why it's been babblefished to hell, but it amused me, so it goes up here. That's how this blog rolls.
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Systems > Wii > P > PDC World Championship Darts 2009 > Staff Review
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Review at Gary Hartley
June 06, 2009
I rarely go over to FAQs anymore and when I do itís more out of habit than desire, but I went yesterday and saw they were running their lame Ďbest game everí bollocks which, what with FAQs being a snerd haven, is always won by some overrated Zelda game.
The bracket I saw was Deus Ex, Final Fantasy Tactics, Metal Gear Solid and Pokemon Gold/Silver. And Deus lost.
It came very fourth by a massive margin. Deus Ex, a game that turned gaming on its head, beaten by a game that asks you to watch poorly-rendered guards wiggle their butts, a strategy title that involves no strategy whatsoever and sodding Pokemon. Pokemon!
It's meant to be a gaming website, not a hive of infalliable dumbness.
Iím going to break character and bitch about things:
1. Video gaming on television or in movies.
Directors, and I know youíre reading because Iím important and well respected in every industry ever, youíre all twits. Yes, twits. I know no one has used that as an actual insult since 1925, but Iíve decided that Iím bringing it back. Its first outing is to belittle you.