EmP

About Me:

Taking up all the good oxygen.

Find me complaining on twitter under @EmPIAm. Or not.


ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: HALF A MILLION
February 27, 2011

Turns out, while I wasnít looking, I was being steadily more popular that you. Yes, you, random reader; because my view figures now total in the half million.

Next stop, presidency of the world.

3 comments


Year in Review: Part VI (Original and best!)
January 09, 2011

Part 6! Holy shit, I've been doing this way too bloody long.

Output's been okay this year seeing as I had to take a lot of time out for health reasons and started the year pretty sure I'd finish up commitments then throw the towel in on reviewing. Now 2011 has dumped the weight of a website on my shoulders and partnered me with phantom fellow staffers toiling away at irrelevance, I'll expect that mindset to battle away with burnout to see which forces retirment first.

Complaing disguised as a director's commentory follows from here:



Fable II (360) January 10th

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4 comments


The king of stats!
September 06, 2010

Today, I posted my 250th review for this site and earnt one of those milestone thingies. I decided to see how I stood against the rest of you slackers in these terms and was not surprised to find this:

01. EmP. 665

Iím the best thing that ever happened to this website. Officially.

5 comments


EmP hates Weather/EmP loves Football. Too much.
August 25, 2010

Scant seconds before I started typing (using magically skilled fingers that seem to glide -- GLIDE -- over the awful regressed keyboard of this laptop) I received a phone call from a once-close friend who smugly told me that she was sitting, snug and warm, in a studio that I was asked to attend -- for money -- but turned down in order to play football. A glance outside isnít needed to gauge the weather; I can hear the rain trying its damnedest to break through the ceiling. Right now is one of those depressingly perfect moments when you realise youíve picked exactly the wrong choice. Iím already wet and cold, and, in an hour, I need to start playing though a torrential downpour that only England can properly produce (may not be as violent as some, but itís always effortlessly more misera

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6 comments


Random thoughts.
August 07, 2010

The other day, I finally got around to watching the film adaptation of Max Payne. This surprised me, but not half as much as when I not only enjoyed the film thoroughly, but got the hilarious joke played on the complain-ready video-gamers who bemoaned the movie the second they saw their first trailer. Jokes on you -- or, should I say, us. I wonít pretend I didnít do exactly the same.

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6 comments


SquearEnix present NEIR. By SquareEnix. SQUAREENIX!
July 26, 2010

Know what annoys me? Aside from everything? When gaming website get a screenshot of a game then plasters their siteís name and/or logo all over the bloody thing like a ten-year old who got one of those label maker things for Xmas. Yes, weíre very happy that a publicly-released screenshot has been hosted on your geosite page, by all means, slather your idiotic web domain all over it. Heaven forbid we actually see the sodding screen capture when you could advertise yourself heavily to people who are already on your site!

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20 comments


Star Ocean 4 and other news
July 25, 2010

I've been playing SO4 on and off for a while now, and it's getting by on nothing but its battle system. The plot isn't as clever or unique as it thinks it is, the characters are almost uniquely annoying and the dungeon layouts are often infuriating.

Iím in one right now when, to progress, I had to light urns on fire in a certain order. That was okay: there was a knight statue in the corner who pointed his halberd at the urn I needed to light, I did this, and secret walls opened. Then it happened again. And again. AND AGAIN.

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3 comments


Additional Articles:

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