Reader reviews, page 152

Divine Sealing review

Sometimes, when I get a boner, I thrust my hands down into my pants to make it go away.

dementedhut · July 23, 2008

My Arcade Action Extra magazine from 1988 features an Alien Syndrome spread packed with gameplay tips and outrageously exciting screenshots for what was the then new coin-op from Sega. Two decades later I find myself playing a makeover of…

bloomer · July 23, 2008

Reader Genesis HG exclusive

Shadowrun review

Let us speak of Shadowrun. As an individual, the cyberpunk universe never really attracted me. Why would you want to use guns, grenades and implants when logic clearly dictates that a bow, sword and axe are clearly superior in every way?…

darketernal · July 21, 2008

Reader PlayStation 3 HG exclusive

Assassin's Creed review

You know when someone asks you how your day was, and you want to tell them how great it was, but actually it's been a pretty miserable day? You're stuck trying to come up with something to tell them that's good, something other than "I've…

zippdementia · July 17, 2008

Reader DS HG exclusive

Final Fantasy: Crystal Chronicles - Ring of Fates review

One time, I had a girlfriend. Together, we would laugh at the hated characters living among our nerdosphere. Star Wars was treated to a Jar Jar Binks hate-fest. Metal Gear Solid received the Raiden treatment. Even the fairy Navi of Zelda…

espiga · July 15, 2008

Reader Genesis HG exclusive

Advanced Busterhawk Gley Lancer review

With a spelling error in the title, a domicile on a sometimes technically inept console, and membership in a genre that prides itself on redundancy, expectations are not particularly high for Gley Lancer. “A shoot-em-up,” said I, “on the…

dagoss · July 15, 2008

Reader PlayStation 2 Review of the Week HG exclusive

The Getaway review

Multiple accidents and numerous carjackings later, you’ll find the gang’s hideaway. There you have to kill everybody while seeking the child’s location. Accomplish this and you’ll be rewarded with another lengthy cut scene where you learn…

wolfqueen001 · July 14, 2008

Reader Wii

LostWinds review

It’s so easy to take for granted. The wind, I mean. Science explains it as the reaction to pressure between two adjacent air masses. Nothing more, nothing less. But for the folks that have a bit more imagination within their grasp, the…

disco · July 13, 2008

Reader Game Boy Color HG exclusive

X-Men: Mutant Academy review

Button mashing will see you through every battle, even at the highest difficulty. There’s no real system of commands that demand mastering. Just back your enemy to the end of the screen and wail away. They’ll be caught in a trap of…

wolfqueen001 · July 12, 2008

Reader PC HG exclusive

Devil May Cry 4 review

The Devil May Cry series hasn't exactly been consistent. While the original game was a unique and ultra-stylish masterpiece, the second outing was a universally reviled mess. The third game had the gameplay back on track, but was deemed…

Daisuke02 · July 11, 2008

Reader DS

Guitar Hero: On Tour review

Just when you thought Activision couldn’t milk the Guitar Hero franchise anymore, they go on and make a handheld version of the plastic guitar rhythm-based game. Aside from Harmonix’s Phase for the iPod, one would wonder how a handheld…

Ness · July 11, 2008

Reader Sega CD

INXS: Make My Video review

Now, I’ve only played a handful of games that I’d describe as truly awful. These games were either unplayable due to horrible controls, an awful grasp of the subject matter or they were just plain boring. However, despite my exposure to…

goldenvortex · July 10, 2008

Reader PlayStation 2

XIII review

XIII is a game based off the famous Belgian comic book of the same name. It is an adaptation of the first five volumes of the comic series (a series with 18 volumes and a lot of plot). In line with this, the game combines cell shaded…

zippdementia · July 9, 2008

Reader Wii

Wii Sports review

First of all... it's free. If you're still not convinced, keep reading. As said, it's free. The question is, is it any good? Or is it like those free tissue packs people in front of grocery stores give out, rough around the edges and…

zippdementia · July 8, 2008

Reader Wii

Red Steel review

It's funny. Here I am considering getting rid of my Wii because I hardly play it, and yet one of the few games I keep returning to is this launch title that was lambasted by the critics. Considering all the things the game does well, I was…

zippdementia · July 8, 2008

Reader PlayStation 2 HG exclusive

Dirge of Cerberus: Final Fantasy VII review

Square Enix had this long standing policy about sequels and remakes... they didn't make them. This has obviously become more of a guideline these days, with several remakes having come out, and some sequels, one of which is Dirge of…

zippdementia · July 8, 2008

Reader PlayStation 2

Kingdom Hearts II review

Kingdom Hearts 2 is the third game in what is currently a trilogy (the second game being Chain of Memories for the GBA). It is perhaps one of the most bizarre concepts to hit the RPG market: Disney characters mixed with Final Fantasy…

zippdementia · July 8, 2008

Reader PlayStation 3

Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots review

When I was first writing this review and looking for the proper score to this game, Gamefaqs was really helpful. Right there, under 5, it said "playable, nothing special about it." And that's exactly the feeling I was left with after…

zippdementia · July 8, 2008

Reader TurboGrafx-16 Review of the Week HG exclusive

Double Dungeons review

Early RPGs are based on very simple principals. Throw a few goblins in some square rooms that have been neatly arranged in a grid-shape, add some weapons, maybe toss in a tavern, slap any combination of “swords,” “dungeons,” “dragons,” or…

dagoss · July 8, 2008

Reader SNES

Umihara Kawase review

Every puzzle game I have ever played on the SNES has sucked. First there’s the standard billion and one mahjong clones the Japanese consume like so much Pocky. Then there’s your fifty different Tetris games, and digitized versions of the…

timrod · July 5, 2008