Leroux_Deux's Altered Beast review

Indeed! Great review for a game that couldn't be more awesome if it had a power metal soundtrack. Loved how this game is compared to Santa Claus Versus the Martians, or B-movies in general really. Nice one, Leroux.

This does raise a question: Are there any other good B-games that anyone can think of?

the back and dug the gwave for its garbled voice acting

Is that a word?

There's a lot of awesome B-movie style games on the arcade side -- Ed Randy immediately comes to mind as another that's probably not technically great but I love. Night Creatures on the Turbo has a committed following of at least two -- check out Masters' review.

"Gwave" is the common onomatopoeia for AB's garbled voice introduction.

S-Cynic -- provide constructive feedback or get lost. Better yet, review it yourself!

...

What he say?!

Just "awful, awful, awful," but stuff like that has no purpose other than to deride an author and discourage contributions.

Well that's immature.

Don't worry, Leroux. I'll look through it and give you a decent critique.

Thanks. I wasn't asking for one (it's an old review) but it's much appreciated if you choose to! There's not much to the review other than I loved Altered Beast for the same reasons people tend to hate it (goofiness) -- I went into AB just wanting to be entertained and thought it was damn entertaining.

I think Zig made a good point a while back about how campiness was not AB's aim, but I dunno, I played it without any real reservations, and by the end when everyone was holding up beers, I was sold. It was promoted a lot differently I know, but I wasn't around for that. I just heard a lot of bad things about it (there was an old contest at GameFAQs where a bunch of guys reviewed it, most rating it poorly) and was surprised how amused I was by it after all those low scores.

Awful, awful, awful.

Kidding.

In truth, I think you've done the impossible here...or at least damn close to it.

It's hard to pull off a review that is both informative about a game, yet a rebuttal to everything critics have said prior. From what I can tell, you have. My opinion my be somewhat distorted because I know that game backwards and forwards so it's hard to say I came away with something new. I don't think that's possible for me. If I've never played it, I would definitely feel more informed.

Your review was a fresh take on a game that has received almost as much exposure--both positive and negative--as Metal Slug. Well done, all around.

Plus your eloquent phrasing and incredible style is always impressive to read.

Too kind. I think "awful, awful awful" was closer to the truth :P

I'm not trying to gang up on S-Cynic though -- I really wish he/she would write some reviews because the game ratings submitted certainly spark curiosity (plus Robotron 2084 rocks and is somewhere on the long-term Sunday Cabaret agenda, so there's common ground despite the brawler hate).

Yeah, I don't think the game meant to be campy -- I think the game strived to be awesome cool, and it was awesome cool, and it still is awesome cool -- though clearly dated. But I don't need to call on the power of nostalgia to appreciate a bear that looks like it masturbates if you tap the attack button, or a demonic beast who hurls regenerating heads at you. Those things would be just as cool in a brand new game. I also love how the game starts with a booming RISE FROM YOUR GRAVE. I wish more games started with such simple power.

Bayonetta is this game's sequel.

I agree with your review's statement that people decided to take it too seriously. What was once considered awesome cool is now considered silly, and people seem to think that's a bad thing.

Max Headroom is still cool, too.

//Zig

At some time, I have to play/review Altered Beast (not for MOTO, though...). I actually have never played any version ever. But I remember seeing screenshots when I was younger and it really seems to possess that bizarre "WTF IS GOING ON HERE" goofed-out charisma that I remember getting from games like Karnov back in the day.

S-Cynic -- provide constructive feedback

I guess I could try.

There's not much to the review other than I loved Altered Beast for the same reasons people tend to hate it (goofiness) -- I went into AB just wanting to be entertained and thought it was damn entertaining.

People do not hate Altered Beast because it's goofy. They hate it because the human segments are monotonous, because of the clunky controls, and because the entire game is as slow as Tom Hanks pouring molasses in a godforsaken igloo.

It's hard to pull off a review that is both informative about a game, yet a rebuttal to everything critics have said prior. From what I can tell, you have.

How can it be a rebuttal when it doesn't actually address any of the criticisms? He's claiming that Altered Beast is bad because it's supposed to be bad and that everybody who doesn't like the game just doesn't get it.

Come on. He gets a little more detailed than that.

I'm not claiming it's supposed to be bad.

I'm claiming it's supposed to be campy and entertaining, like Army of Darkness or however many other flicks I need to keep citing to arrive at the point, and while it doesn't arrive at the gags in the most elegant or innovative fashion -- and some just may be unintentional -- they're nonetheless great (I reference numerous goofy things I love) and those defined the game for me, the hilarious or memorable moments I couldn't get with technically sound titles that might be quicker and less monotonous and easier to control, none of which, I felt, impeded me from enjoying this one compared to the entertainment I got out of it. And that, the potshots taken at the voice acting and the main character and the transformations (because no negative AB review rips on those...), may just have inspired part of the counterculture feeling that makes me like it even more, because I think those are funny (Santa Claus Versus the Martians style), but I see a lot else to like here too as far as enemy design and presentation. So I think (hope) there's more nuance to the review, some of which is probably a little garbled because it's a tough point I'm reaching for and even I don't think I get there quite, but certainly more than what you're summarizing my case as.

I also didn't find it monotonous -- you can learn where the orbs are (or fiddle with dip switches I'd bet) -- and because it was scrolling and there was usually something on screen to occupy, not really slow relative to peers. To say I didn't address the control issues is a flat lie and I don't deny them.

Hell, I don't even argue the game is good or great, just that people that think Altered Beast is a tragedy or a disgrace may need to take a second look, because they may have taken the cabinet too seriously. And created a cult-classic well worth playing as a result while other older titles grow less and less relevant.

People do not hate Altered Beast because it's goofy. They hate it because the human segments are monotonous, because of the clunky controls, and because the entire game is as slow

On monotony, the human moments are intentionally designed to handicap the player so that the beast moments feel more special. Even modern shooters focus on reaching hyper mode or building an impressive chain. Without dips, lulls, or divergences, then playing a game becomes a mechanical chore. Obviously, such moments shouldn't be boring, but Altered Beast's human scenes are brief enough that I still look forward to the high points (although the slow scrolling does make the game seem to drag at times). That's Sega's devious plan: they never let the player feel fulfilled, so even winners keep paying money to get their fix.

I wouldn't say the controls are clunky, although they do feel restricted -- especially in human form. So I'm not really arguing with you, although I don't agree. Altered Beast was never about appreciating the mechanics. It's actually pretty easy to master with just a bit of memorization. The game is more about witnessing cool moments and spending money to see those moments again and again. I'm sure you already know that.

But there are haters out there who are fine with a shallow game, people who happen to think this particular shallow game is too "goofy" and should have been more "serious", people who use WISE FWOM YOUR GWAVE as proof of being "bad" but overlook lame mechanics in games that have hour-long cutscenes. I think it's fair to say those people don't get it. Because they don't.

//Zig