I commented on this already in the production room, so you know I think it's a great review, and I think your changes have helped it read smoother.
I still have a problem with this line:
The game is technically solid but, like everything else in the game, a little rough-hewn.
Same comment as before... it's like saying "my room is technically large, but like everything else in the room, a little dirty." I don't know if you see the problem with redundancy there, but it does exist. It would be more passable if it read "the game is technically solid, but like everything in it, a little rough hewn" or even better as simply "the game is techinically solid but a little rough-hewn."
I still have a problem with this line:
The game is technically solid but, like everything else in the game, a little rough-hewn.
Same comment as before... it's like saying "my room is technically large, but like everything else in the room, a little dirty." I don't know if you see the problem with redundancy there, but it does exist. It would be more passable if it read "the game is technically solid, but like everything in it, a little rough hewn" or even better as simply "the game is techinically solid but a little rough-hewn."
Note to gamers: when someone shoots you in the face, they aren't "gay." They are "psychopathic."
