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JoeTheDestroyer's Wolfenstein 3D review

Feedback on JoeTheDestroyer's Wolfenstein 3D review. 6 replies.

Joseph Shaffer Staff May 3, 2024
Doh! I didn't want to do this as a staff review. Sorry, Marc. Sorry, everyone.
The only thing my milkshake brings to the yard is a subpoena.
Rob Hamilton Staff May 7, 2024
Ah, for a long time, I had just put all my stuff as staff and one day, Jason said there should be only one staff, so I stopped. But still probably have a few dozen, if not more, staff reviews that were the second or third of those. So no biggie. At least I never took it as such!

Good review. After playing the "meh" SNES port of this game, the main thing that struck me was how repetitive the game was, where the only really thrilling levels were the boss ones, as you just might release a boss into a level still filled with regular soldiers if you went through the wrong door at the wrong time. But other than that, it just droned on and on. But, since it was the SNES port and that system totally botched Doom, I never was sure if it was just really chopped down and butchered. And now I know that it might have been inferior, but it was at least true to the original.
I'm not afraid to die because I am invincible
Viva la muerte, that's my goddamn principle
Marc Golding Staff May 13, 2024
No apology needed--nice review!

Man, there's 21 years between yours and mine. We're all getting so old.
I don't have to prove I'm refined - that's what makes me refined!
Joseph Shaffer Staff May 29, 2024
Sorry, I'm notoriously bad about responding to things, especially lately.

Yeah, I feel the age setting in for sure. I'm getting to the point where even stuff that's newer in my head is considered old by young'uns these days. I mention something from early PS4 or late 3, and they're like, "Who still plays old school stuff like that?"

Old school? OLD SCHOOL? You know what's old school? Asteroids. Super Mario Bros. Hang-On. Those are old school. These kids make me feel old every time they call the Wii a retro system.

Thanks for reading!
The only thing my milkshake brings to the yard is a subpoena.
Joseph Shaffer Staff May 29, 2024
Rob:
I never played the SNES version, and I'm honestly afraid to. I've heard it's less of a catastrophe than SNES Doom, but that isn't much of a feat. I've taken punches to the groin that were more pleasant than SNES Doom.
The only thing my milkshake brings to the yard is a subpoena.
Rob Hamilton Staff Jun 14, 2024
Yeah, SNES Wolfenstein 3D was able to vault the impossibly low bar that is SNES Doom and do so by a lot. Which still didn't make it good whatsoever, but at least it wasn't comically inept.

SNES Doom is so bad that we need an old-timey comedian here to generate a never-ending stream of "It's so bad that..." jokes to do justice to just how bad it is.
I'm not afraid to die because I am invincible
Viva la muerte, that's my goddamn principle

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