Forums > Submission Feedback > dementedhut's Woody Pop review

That has got to be one of the most unfortunate titles I've ever seen. I totally thought this was some delisted Steam hentai game.

The only thing my milkshake brings to the yard is a subpoena.

That title is mild compared to a Sega CD game that also has the word Woody in its name. Type it in the search box above and you'll see it.

I head spaceshit noises.

OH MY GOD

The only thing my milkshake brings to the yard is a subpoena.

Full disclosure: After reading this discussion, I decided it was time I review that S-CD Wild Woody game. So, last night, I started it up. It went like this.

1. I watched a fairly long and very grainy video that set up the plot for why there was a walking, talking pencil and why he was going from one world to the next to do the platforming stuff.

2. I started the first level, which was set on a pirate ship and found out this is one of the clumsiest platformers to ever plat a form. You have larger and more complex levels, kind of like Sonic the Hedgehog where you could explore as opposed to straight-line walking. And I feel I horribly insulted Sonic by even making that comparison. I'm sorry, Sonic, I like your old-school games. You have a protagonist who's a bit awkward to control, so things like hitting the jump button and then hitting the erase button to exterminate foes OR really complex stuff like jumping up and grabbing a rope to climb up are tougher than expected. Also: I attempted to jump off a rope and grab a heart. Despite this being a super-short leap, I missed, even though it looked like Woody's sprite at least touched the heart. And, for a first level of a game with awkward controls, the enemies were a bit intense. Especially the pirate what hides in a barrel and throws knives at you. He just machine guns those things one after the next. Asshole.

3. The main positive I noted was that you at least had a lot of life to make up for that awkwardness. Start at 100% and only lose 9-15% for getting hit. Of course, part of that is because you use your life to get power-ups. You find notebook pages and then can use some of your pencil to draw the power-up in a system that's at least interesting. Can't say if it was well-designed, as I never used one because it took five minutes for me to determine I was not going to play that stupid game.

I'd say it was fun while it lasted, but it really wasn't. So, I apologize for how I will not be writing a review possessing 2.3 innuendos per sentence on average for this thing.

I'm not afraid to die because I am invincible
Viva la muerte, that's my goddamn principle

It does sound like you had a hard time with it!

"Too often we enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought." - John F. Kennedy on reality

"What if everything you see is more than what you see--the person next to you is a warrior and the space that appears empty is a secret door to another world? What if something appears that shouldn't? You either dismiss it, or you accept that there is much more to the world than you think. Perhaps it really is a doorway, and if you choose to go inside, you'll find many unexpected things." - Shigeru Miyamoto on secret doors to another world2

Sounds like the recipe for a stiff challenge factor.

The only thing my milkshake brings to the yard is a subpoena.

Look what I've done.

I head spaceshit noises.