I’ve not read this review before. This is odd considering that everytime we talk, you use this as an excuse to make me read something of yours and you hardly ever let me be.
The intro justifies itself (every videogame story you ever had starts with “This one time, in the arcade, I was playing this game and….”) even if it is a bit rambley. It works because it establishes your link with the game back in 1842 when you were young.
The second paragraph does works too, but the third much less so. You seem to spend a lot of words saying “Ninja Gaiden is Temco’s attempt at Double Dragon”. The distinction between the Nes and arcade version is important, and getting it out of the way early is to your benefit. Though, the more I look at the review, the more I think it might be better to have started the review from the forth paragraph onwards, wipe away to nostalgia and put the more valid points into the body of the review from there.
The skills chunk is good, but I find myself getting a bit lost in the conclusion of the second example. You also throw out a few clumsy lines from time to time in the hopes of providing a solid transition. Such as! “Let’s observe what enemies and hazards await the player that create such a relentless difficulty.”. You’re better than that!
“Regrettably, most of these same enemy characters are able to perform a most frustrating 'interrupt attack'. They interrupt your attack, with one of their own.”
Just in case you don’t get that an interrupt attack can interrupt your attacks!
“It is an throw - a neck throw”
An throw? Oh dear!
I’ve nitpicked -- it’s what I do -- but the review communicates well what the game achieves and how it falls short. The sheer randomness of having your combos broken sounds like a bigger flaw than its sense of personality to me, so the seven still sounds high to my cynical mindset, and I’m not sure you’ve done enough to change my mind. I think it the review could do with losing a hundred words or so and sharpening up the impression you want to give. If near-broken combat is compensated enough to still come away from the game with your nostalgic memories still somewhat intact, explaining why this is might be a good place to start.
The intro justifies itself (every videogame story you ever had starts with “This one time, in the arcade, I was playing this game and….”) even if it is a bit rambley. It works because it establishes your link with the game back in 1842 when you were young.
The second paragraph does works too, but the third much less so. You seem to spend a lot of words saying “Ninja Gaiden is Temco’s attempt at Double Dragon”. The distinction between the Nes and arcade version is important, and getting it out of the way early is to your benefit. Though, the more I look at the review, the more I think it might be better to have started the review from the forth paragraph onwards, wipe away to nostalgia and put the more valid points into the body of the review from there.
The skills chunk is good, but I find myself getting a bit lost in the conclusion of the second example. You also throw out a few clumsy lines from time to time in the hopes of providing a solid transition. Such as! “Let’s observe what enemies and hazards await the player that create such a relentless difficulty.”. You’re better than that!
“Regrettably, most of these same enemy characters are able to perform a most frustrating 'interrupt attack'. They interrupt your attack, with one of their own.”
Just in case you don’t get that an interrupt attack can interrupt your attacks!
“It is an throw - a neck throw”
An throw? Oh dear!
I’ve nitpicked -- it’s what I do -- but the review communicates well what the game achieves and how it falls short. The sheer randomness of having your combos broken sounds like a bigger flaw than its sense of personality to me, so the seven still sounds high to my cynical mindset, and I’m not sure you’ve done enough to change my mind. I think it the review could do with losing a hundred words or so and sharpening up the impression you want to give. If near-broken combat is compensated enough to still come away from the game with your nostalgic memories still somewhat intact, explaining why this is might be a good place to start.
For us. For them. For you.
