I don't like the tone you chose for this review. You start off with a sort've "hey, it's old, but check it out!" tone which makes me feel like this is going to be a nostalgic review praising a game for what it does right.
But you don't do that.
Instead, you point out and detail (very nicely, I should say) an experience which sounds like the gaming equivalent of having someone draw a rusty nail file repeatedly across the tip of my member. Honestly, this is much more set up for a bash review, and I think it should've been one. It would've lent some emotion and humour to an otherwise monotone description of how the game plays out.
In the end, your review ends up as middle of the road as the score you've given the game. Fitting, perhaps, but not very engaging.
What I DO like about the review is that you manage to explain the gameplay in such a way that I know exactly what kind of experience I'm going to get out of the game. That's hard to do, and you seem to do it effortlessly here (though I can see you took your time and thought about the crafting of this).
But you don't do that.
Instead, you point out and detail (very nicely, I should say) an experience which sounds like the gaming equivalent of having someone draw a rusty nail file repeatedly across the tip of my member. Honestly, this is much more set up for a bash review, and I think it should've been one. It would've lent some emotion and humour to an otherwise monotone description of how the game plays out.
In the end, your review ends up as middle of the road as the score you've given the game. Fitting, perhaps, but not very engaging.
What I DO like about the review is that you manage to explain the gameplay in such a way that I know exactly what kind of experience I'm going to get out of the game. That's hard to do, and you seem to do it effortlessly here (though I can see you took your time and thought about the crafting of this).
Note to gamers: when someone shoots you in the face, they aren't "gay." They are "psychopathic."
