What? ANOTHER Bioshock review?!

First off, this review is dedicated to Suskie, who has to endure seeing his un-editable and positive review of Bioshock sit on the site for the rest of eternity while he gnashes his teeth and pulls his hair in frustration that he didn't deliver the full breadth of his dislike of the game.

It's okay. I've been there, too.

Now, I know that writing a Bioshock review is like hiring the village whore... it's not all that far fetched. The fact that it's a bash only turns the whoring into fisting or something.

I've taken that metaphor about as far as it will go.

Suffice it to say, I know there are those of you who would rather have their eyes put out than have to read another word about Bioshock. I still urge you to give my review at least a glance over, I did spend three bloody weeks crafting it and figuring out exactly what I wanted to say.

But, just in case that goes against your religion or something, I've also provided an alternate review for you to read.

Just remember, if during the course of reading said review, you feel something wet splatter your chest, don't worry... that's just sarcasm.