Comparative Analysis of World Religious Philosophies

Taoism: Shit happens

Confucianism: Confucius say: Shit happens

Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit

Zen: What is the sound of shit happening?

Hinduism: This shit happened before

Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah

Protestant: Let shit happen to someone else

Catholic: If shit happens, you deserve it

Judaism: Why does shit always happen to us?

Atheist: Shit happens for no apparent reason

Agnostic: Farts happen

Jehovah's Witnesses: Let us i and we'll tell you why shit happens

Hare Krishna: Shit happens shit happens shithappens shit shit happens happens shitshitshit happenshappenshappens

Pagan: Shit is a part of the goddes, too

Scientologist: Fecal matter happens

Murphyism: When the room is small and hot, farts happen