Review Archives (Reader Reviews)

You are currently looking through reader reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
	The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass review (DS) Reviewed on October 13, 2007 You Nintendo bastards. You think you can take over the world with your touch screens and your motion-sensitive remotes? This battle against the conventions of gaming has raged on for years, and now look what you’ve done. You’ve dragged Zelda into this mess. Haven’t you reanimated enough familiar franchises as is? Can’t you give it a rest? You can do whatever you want to Kirby and Metroid, but not Zelda, man! LEAVE MY ZELDA ALONE!
	WarioWare: Touched! review (DS) Reviewed on October 13, 2007 Wario Ware: Touched! is fun depending on what type of person you are. If you enjoy funny, light-hearted stories, unrolling toilet paper, and using a peeing statue to stop a forest fire this is definitely for you. You will do everything in this game from cutting, poking, sliding, and even blowing all via the touch screen, save the latter.
	Portal review (PC) Reviewed on October 12, 2007 A woman fires an obtuse, pale weapon in to a pit, jumps down roughly two stories, pops through a hole in her original level, and is propelled to an elevated platform. In the android supervisor’s Microsoft Sam-esc voice, “fast stuff goes in, fast stuff comes out.” Such is Valve’s new game, Portal, part of their Half-Life 2 Orange Box compilation.
	Guilty Gear XX: Accent Core review (PS2) Reviewed on October 10, 2007 Heaven or Hell? What’s it going to be, pal? You’ve got thirty seconds to choose. You going to go the good-natured paladin, or are you going to go with that flame-spouting anti-hero? How about the woman with the sentient hair? No? What about that aristocratic vampire? Not your style, eh? How about the swashbuckling womanizer, or the prepubescent pirate girl that’s pining after him? That veiled assassin with the pool cue looks like fun, too. Look at that ten-foot monster draped in a doctors coat, ...
	Underworld review (PS2) Reviewed on October 10, 2007 Yes, they made a game about the movie Underworld. According to all sources it was released exclusively in Europe in January 2004, and it received no media coverage whatsoever. There’s not a single word about this game in IGN, Gamespot, GameFAQs or even this site, apart from the purely technical data like the fact that it actually exists or who distributed it. If I found this game myself it was only because it was being sold (obscenely cheap, by the way) in some obscure game shop I happene...
	Super Metroid review (SNES) Reviewed on October 09, 2007 It’s raining. Not like a little sprinkle or a fine drizzle, but an all-out torrent. The water is running steadily down the sides of Samus Aran’s spaceship, sending mini-waterfalls cascading to the muddy ground below. No one is going to mind, though. The natives of Zebes have long since cleared out of here. The only welcoming committee Samus could have expected included a bunch of laser gun-toting Space Pirates and a host of intergalactic monstrosities. But right now, there’s only this vas...
	5 Days a Stranger review (PC) Reviewed on October 09, 2007 I feel a bit dirty reviewing 5 Days a Stranger, it having been brought to my attention via a tiresome fan board-spamming campaign.
	Ghostbusters review (SMS) Reviewed on October 09, 2007 How come Winston isn't in this game? I know he shows up later in the film, but still...
	Boom Boom Rocket review (X360) Reviewed on October 08, 2007 Are they birds? Are they planes? No, they’re an array of fireworks from Bizarre Creations (Project Gotham Racing series) Boom Boom Rocket (BBR), a game exclusive to the Xbox Live Arcade on the Xbox 360. Boom Boom Rocket is a music game similar to Dance Dance Revolution and Guitar Hero. Instead of a dance mat or guitar, you use your Xbox 360 controller. For 800 Microsoft points ($10), Boom Boom Rocket is an interesting idea.
	Bomberman Live review (X360) Reviewed on October 08, 2007 Long gone are the days of the dump that was Bomberman: Act Zero, and good riddance. Bomberman Live doesn't quite bring a new level of gameplay into the franchise - yes, there are new game modes - but it's still the same, good old bomb the hell out of everything� mechanic we've come to know and adore. For those unfamiliar with the series, a match begins with one player in each corner of a maze of blocks, some indestructible, some not. The player makes their way around by blowing up blocks (and...
	Cooking Mama: Cook Off review (WII) Reviewed on October 08, 2007 I'm an actual chef (part time) and I can tell you that it'd be more worth it to just learn to cook. This game isn't really flawed, other than the Wiimote bugging out and flying up when you swing down, but it's not that fun.
	The Darkness review (X360) Reviewed on October 08, 2007 I have one thing to say about The Darkness: people give this game far too much love. This game wasn't bad. It wasn't good, but it definitely wasn't bad. The graphics are pretty in HD, the search quests are aggravating, controlling your darkness snakes is unpredictable, and aiming is imprecise. I can't tell you how many times I went to shoot for a light as to not be noticed while enemies were around and got slaughtered because they heard ba-bang bang and ran around some corner, guns-a-blazing. I...
	Halo 3 review (X360) Reviewed on October 07, 2007 “It's what you all been waiting for ain't it”
	BreakThru! review (SNES) Reviewed on October 06, 2007 Despite what you may think, BreakThru is, in fact, not a game about falling blocks.
	The Darkness review (X360) Reviewed on October 03, 2007 From Studio Starbreeze(the studio who brought you The Chronicles of Riddick: Escape from Butcher Bay,)The Darkness goes where few first-person shooters go, which is actually focusing on the characters and plot. The big question is, does The Darkness succeed in drawing you into its seedy underworld, or does it fall on its face and feel just like the mediocre first-person shooters that are becoming a trend?
	Mega Man X6 review (PSX) Reviewed on October 01, 2007 X: "Oh, no! Zero died! I think. And there’s a virus that’s going to DESTROY THE WORLD! I got to stop that."
	Alex Kidd in Miracle World review (SMS) Reviewed on October 01, 2007 You know, Alex Kidd may tell us he was trained in the art of Shellcore, allowing him the ability to punch through rocks like it was nothing, but I refuse to believe that. No amount of training in the world can make him have a fist that's about the size of his head, no way. There's only one possible explanation: steroids. I guess this big-eared prince needed the extra help in his quest to save the kingdom of Radaxian from the evil Janken. It may have been in vain, though, because the first few ar...
	Star Wars Bounty Hunter review (GCN) Reviewed on September 30, 2007 Ah good ol' Star Wars. Of all the special characters in it's universe, many of us have been waiting for a game in which we play as the bounty hunter Boba Fett. And unfortunately....we still don't have it. But this game is the next best thing! It's Star Wars: Bounty Hunter, a game in which you take control of Jango Fett, Boba's daddy.
	Project Sylpheed: Arc of Deception review (X360) Reviewed on September 30, 2007 Imagine it's the year 2632. Humans have advanced technology, the ability to fly around in space with ease, and we even found alien species that resemble humans. What a small world eh?! But then imagine that life is like a video game with terrible gameplay. And that's the recipe for Project Slypheed, a failed attempt at an action game in which you get into big space battles and try to resolve things by blowing stuff up.
	Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Stories review (PS2) Reviewed on September 30, 2007 It's the game that let us release the evil hoodlum inside us. And now we have the 5th available for the Playsation 2. And like the 4th, it's a port of a PSP game. We go back to the year 1984, and we revisit Vice City, a place I know all too well from playing the original game so many times that I can memorize the cutscenes word for word. Seriously! Vice City was my personal favourite, so of course I had high expectations for it's "prequel". And how does it fare? Not too shabby.

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