My poor, beloved zombie

By Brian Rowe · April 11, 2008

I'm a sucker for movies, games, and comics about the undead. I just wish people would stop messing with the tried and true formulas. Zombies do not and should not need to run fast, spit acid, or learn how to use a gun. Call me a stale traditionalist, but the idea of getting surrounded by a hundred lumbering corpses and feeling helpless in the last remaining seconds of life, is scary enough.

I can tolerate a little bit of change, but there's one thing that I won't stand for. Don't ever make your zombies talk, and if you do, at least record it on something better than your crappy PC mic.

I am now wholly unexcited for the new game, Cry of the Infected. For you impatient chumps, the best is at the end.

Comments 12

Felix_Arabia Apr 11, 2008

Ha, that game looks like shit just based off its crappy graphics and uninspired play.

Suskie Apr 11, 2008

Agree about spitting acid and shooting guns, but disagree about running fast. Having seen 28 Days Later several times, I'm sorry, but slow-moving zombies just aren't scary. That was what made the record-throwing scene in Shaun of the Dead so hilarious.

Genj Apr 11, 2008

There were no zombies in 28 Days Later :)

wolfqueen001 Apr 11, 2008

They weren't zombies in 28 Days? >_> Looked like zombies to me. Unless they're infected people like in RE4 (which would also make sense), but I thought the disease made them into zombies (in the movie).

Talking zombies are retarded. If they 'speak' it should be with grunting, groaning, moaning, or otherwise unintelligible 'speech'.

pup Blogger Apr 11, 2008

I'm going with yes, they were zombies in 28 Days Later. I won't pull out ol' Webster for this one, but a zombie can easily be defined as a person physically and mentally operating according to basic instincts and impulses, as opposed to the cognitive reasoning of free will. The modern, pop-cultural zombie is rooted in the practices of Hatian Voodoo (Vodoom), in which zombies are living people who have been pushed to the brink of death and brought back under the influence of a dissociative drug. In short, a zombie does not have to be an undead creature risen from the grave.

There's my pseudo-intellectual, and possibly gratuitous response for this argument.

Genj Apr 11, 2008

They weren't zombies in 28 Days?

In 28 Days Later, it was supposed to be a virus of "rage" or something silly like that. The filmmakers tried to distance themselves from the label of "zombie movie" when they were promoting it, which is often joked about. For example in Shaun of the Dead they reference this when Shaun says to not "use the z-word."

EmP Staff Apr 12, 2008

The first half of 28 Days Later was awesome. The second sucked arse. This is all that matters.

There's been a modenisation of zombies in the past few years that seem to be giving them all these crazy new skills, some are more annoying than others. While I originally liked the idea of running zombies, it's becoming so overused now that it doesn't carry that cool factor anymore. They were cool because it was such a change from the norm; people don't understand that when you make it the new norm, it's just a bunch of people running.

PREDICTION: The next new zombie skill will be eye lasers.

Genj Apr 12, 2008

The first half of 28 Days Later was awesome. The second sucked arse. This is all that matters.

If the second half is defined by when they meet the horny army guys, then I agree.

zanzard Apr 12, 2008

I once set out to write a undead-themed novel based on a dream I had.

The protagonist was going to be a person turned into an undead being by a prank gone wrong. After that, he would ponder long and throughly about the essence of existence and the human condition.

Apparently then, by your definitions, not a zombie. Just undead.

Anyway, I've been too busy working, going after the ladies and writing video-game reviews to re-visit the project.

Maybe in the next NaNoWriMo...

Suskie Apr 12, 2008

WARNING: Major 28 Days Later spoilers to follow.

I initially thought the whole "horny military dudes" thing was stupid as well, UNTIL Cillian Murphy unleashed their pet zombie on them at the end. That's when I realized that we're supposed to hate these guys, making it all the more satisfying when they got picked off in that final sequence. So I loved the movie all the way through.

By the way, if you didn't like 28 Days Later, then stay far, far away from 28 Weeks Later. The first ten minutes are fantastic and the rest sucks ass.

wolfqueen001 Apr 12, 2008

If the second half is defined by when they meet the horny army guys, then I agree

Yeah... that was just creepy. It was fun watching them get was coming to them, though.

daff Apr 14, 2008

My post on here from last night is gone so I'll summarize. The way the virus breakout in 28 weeks later was handled was one of the dumbest things I have seen in a movie.