Reality is crumbling.

By jerec · July 20, 2009

I don't even know what is real anymore. Seems like life has just been one endless joke for the last few years. Sometimes I suspect that I've been dreaming for the last 5, 6, years. I dunno.

Maybe I just want to be someone else, somewhere else. Blah. And when I'm in a state of mind like this, watching stuff like Life on Mars, reading House of Leaves, hell, playing most video games in general, doesn't help.

This is one hell of an identity crisis.

Comments 4

sashanan Jul 20, 2009

Hey, you're supposed to hit 30 before you start identity crisising!

aschultz Jul 20, 2009

If you think too much, you hit the midlife crisis earlier. It's like being in an accelerated class, but for life. Lots of people will feel this way in their forties, but they'll keep going by momentum.

I generally feel this way about once a month. Then I say, "what would I do if I were the sort of person who gets things done?" Then I do it. Not right away, of course.

Maybe you need a new job, or the people you are around, job or no, completely uninspire you. It's ok to look around and not worry about the Global Economy etc. It's tough to translate your internet persona(a good one) to real life but perhaps at times you've convinced yourself that taking care of things is harder than it is--so many people do it the other way around.

Not much advice I'm afraid but more, well, this is a start to how to look at things.

jerec Blogger Jul 20, 2009

I think it is mostly to do with getting a job. I'm currently employed on a casual basis, getting about 1 shift a week at the moment thanks to the economy. I've been applying for jobs since I graduated back in early December, but I've had nothing but rejections.

So most of the time I sit at home, have no money, and just watch stuff, play stuff, read stuff. I'm really hoping once I have a full time job, I'll have far less time to just think.

honestgamer Staff Jul 20, 2009

There's not usually anything wrong with thinking, even if you find yourself thinking strange things, so long as you turn those into something productive. Everyone handles that in different ways and I wish you luck in doing the same.