That intro is one of the best I've read in awhile. From you, from anyone. I liked it a lot. You've really allowed your pervy side to shine shamelessly here, Venter. What a courageous turn!
Anyway, great review.
One line you might want to look at:
"The dialogue and events differ slightly different each time through, but those differences aren't significant enough to obscure the repetition you'll endure."
Is the word "obscure," your favourite choice there? Just some food for thought. If it is, so be it.
Finally, a word on the nudity (asking for a friend): the girls are nude but their privates are covered (in)conveniently by leaves and such? Thought I'd confirm. For no reason at all.
Anyway, great review.
One line you might want to look at:
"The dialogue and events differ slightly different each time through, but those differences aren't significant enough to obscure the repetition you'll endure."
Is the word "obscure," your favourite choice there? Just some food for thought. If it is, so be it.
Finally, a word on the nudity (asking for a friend): the girls are nude but their privates are covered (in)conveniently by leaves and such? Thought I'd confirm. For no reason at all.
I don't have to prove I'm refined - that's what makes me refined!
