Patreon button  Steam curated reviews  Facebook button  Twitter button 
3DS | AND | IOS | PC | PS4 | NS | VITA | WIIU | XB1 | All

Review Archives (All Reviews)

You are currently looking through all reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by JoeTheDestroyer and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
Last Action Hero (Game Boy)

Last Action Hero review (GB)

Reviewed on May 22, 2011

Fists. That's it. There are no guns, no grenades, not even a knife, a sword or a broken bottle. The only time you do get to use a weapon in this game is for one boss battle, but outside that you have to punch both of the different enemies to death.
Total Recall (NES)

Total Recall review (NES)

Reviewed on May 16, 2011

Punch out the midgets and it's time to move down the street where you'll be ambushed by single-shot security guards, attacked by hitmen who pop out of garbage cans, and eventually tangle with what's best described as The Glory Holes of Doom.
Pit-Fighter (SNES)

Pit-Fighter review (SNES)

Reviewed on May 12, 2011

"Blood Sport" it ain't...
Limbo (Xbox 360)

Limbo review (X360)

Reviewed on May 10, 2011

Hell is where the heart is.
Godzilla (Commodore 64)

Godzilla review (C64)

Reviewed on May 04, 2011

Has there ever been a Godzilla movie where the military succeeded in defeating him without the help of another monster or a cockamamie invention? No. Congrats, you're the first nimrod in history to accidentally kill Godzilla with the military.
Sea Monster (Atari 2600)

Sea Monster review (A2600)

Reviewed on April 30, 2011

Sea Monster is another obscure Atari 2600 game lost in the depths. The name might stir the imagination and prompt a lover of esoterica to search it out. You might think the game sets you up as the eponymous beast devouring snack after snack--sharks, whales, unwary swimmer--and racking up points.
Bart Simpson's Escape from Camp Deadly (Game Boy)

Bart Simpson's Escape from Camp Deadly review (GB)

Reviewed on April 27, 2011

Escaping the woods to the mess hall offers no solace. There the platforming is nixed and an all out food fight ensues. While this sounds like an exciting battle royale involving food and foolery, it's merely a scene of straightforward side-scrolling with the occasional press of the B button. Leave it up to Imagineering to make murdering someone with a hamburger or piece of broccoli feel tedious.
Pac-Man (Atari 2600)

Pac-Man review (A2600)

Reviewed on April 23, 2011

Near-death experiences result in a dead Packy lying in a pool of ectoplasm. Tempting fate, moving recklessly and taking chances were what Pac-Man was all about. Take that away and you rob the game its soul.
Vice: Project Doom (NES)

Vice: Project Doom review (NES)

Reviewed on April 13, 2011

If you need a break from the slashing and running, there a few driving and rail shooter levels. Yeah, Vice is like The Adventures of Bayou Billy, except fun. What better way to break from laser-whipping animals and Asian stereotypes than plugging a few bullets into ninjas?
Ninja Crusaders (NES)

Ninja Crusaders review (NES)

Reviewed on April 06, 2011

Turns out the shurikens aren't getting the job done. They provide great range, but our ninja may as well be throwing butter knives.
Ufouria (NES)

Ufouria review (NES)

Reviewed on March 31, 2011

Think of it as Mario meets Metroid. So... Marioid? Metrio? The world is made of various platforming situations, and it's up to you to use your skills, items and other recruitable characters to conquer them and find a way out of this twisted wonderland.
Epic Dungeon (Xbox 360)

Epic Dungeon review (X360)

Reviewed on March 24, 2011

My first steps into Epic Dungeon are chronicled by the myriad rat and bat bites pervading my berserker's skin and bones. The only option left for me was to swing my sword in a fit of rage and watch the enemies explode into 8-bit gore. More bats and rats swarmed me with mouths biting, claws raking, flees jumping off and getting under my armor.
Yoshi's Cookie (NES)

Yoshi's Cookie review (NES)

Reviewed on March 20, 2011

Using minimal wit, you are tasked with moving the cookies around to form matching rows and columns with the hopes of clearing the them out. Yes, it's as boring as it sounds.
Osmos (PC)

Osmos review (PC)

Reviewed on March 16, 2011

Hemisphere Games put some real thought into this game. They didn't want you walking out thinking it was a loveless affair. Each new situation adds to the addiction and stimulates your gray matter and your gall, putting together a solid plan on the fly and having the brass put it into effect, even when it seems you may fail.
Bucky O'Hare (NES)

Bucky O'Hare review (NES)

Reviewed on March 12, 2011

Each scene plays out like a perilous mini-adventure, forming levels like rough and rugged trips through amusements park in hell. The adventure is stupendous, even if the combat is so-so.
Zunou Senkan Galg (NES)

Zunou Senkan Galg review (NES)

Reviewed on March 10, 2011

The diva sees you struggling, curls her fat lips into a smug smile, and makes another demand. “Oh, and do that without continues,” she says with a sassy shake of her hips. You get three lives in ZSG and not a single continue. It demands that you grab 100 pieces from a potential 100 or more levels without getting a single game over, and with only one hit per life.
Final Fantasy (NES)

Final Fantasy review (NES)

Reviewed on March 05, 2011

There was a time when most of my friends were discovering girls and I was completely ignoring them. I had bigger things to worry about, like how to best destroy Kary and restore the fire crystal. While most of my friends were talking about boobs and making out, I was talking about swords and critical strikes. Final Fantasy was one of those gateways to the realm of extended virginity, but it was a blast.
Quattro Adventure (NES)

Quattro Adventure review (NES)

Reviewed on March 03, 2011

Masochists never back down from a challenging or particularly awful game. We do, however, tend to shy away from multiple turkeys on one cartridge. It's as though Codemasters knew our weakness and developed Quattro Adventure to break us. No, not developed; turned loose. Many were wounded, some even perished, but a few rose their heads up high and said, “I survived Quattro Adventure!”
Recettear: An Item Shop's Tale (PC)

Recettear: An Item Shop's Tale review (PC)

Reviewed on February 28, 2011

Everyone salutes the knights in mythril armor, the adept mages and wise wizards, the swift thieves and rogues, and dual-sword wielding rangers of the elvish variety. They praise the questing heroes because they had the best weapons and armor and gained just enough levels to pummel that malevolent otherworldy being who threatened to enslave humanity.
Ikari Warriors (NES)

Ikari Warriors review (NES)

Reviewed on February 23, 2011

In the sky, a violent bang and a crash landing. A plane falls, its muscular gun-toting cargo shuffling out disheveled and disoriented as a flood of villainous soldiers surges toward them. Did SNK intend for the crashing plane to be an allegory for what you are about to play--a disaster? Was SNK sitting in the pilot seat, laughing as you sign up for an impossible voyage into the raw heart of depravity, where you will spin a drunken dance around a hailstorm of bullets?

Additional Results (20 per page)

[001] [002] [003] [004] [005] [006] [007] [008] [009] [010] [011] [012] [013] [014] [015] [016] [017] [018] [019] [020] [021]

Policies/Ethics | Contact | Advertise | Sponsor Guide | Links

eXTReMe Tracker
© 1998-2017 HonestGamers
None of the material contained within this site may be reproduced in any conceivable fashion without permission from the author(s) of said material. This site is not sponsored or endorsed by Nintendo, Sega, Sony, Microsoft, or any other such party. Opinions expressed on this site do not necessarily represent the opinion of site staff or sponsors. Staff and freelance reviews are typically written based on time spent with a retail review copy or review key for the game that is provided by its publisher.