haha. Alright. The line break error I fixed (to my great relief because in the edit menu, it didn't look like an actual line break error...), but the others I'm leaving because modifying Jim's head to Jim himself with the whip thing would ruin the flow of the writing since I'd have to add more in. Besides, who other than you and anyone with the keenest eye will be able to tell such a thing in the game? =P
You may have a point about the word "score", but it should also be remembered that "to score" also means "to strike". Using a different word there might therefore also ruin the flow of the writing, and I don't want to do that. Call it "artistic license". =P Hahahaha.
Anyway, thanks! I'm glad you still really like this one. I did write it for your birthday last year after all, so that it turned to be a "worthy gift" (I hope! I mean, it is still a review.... lol), makes me happy. I really wanted it to be my best (or at least close to it) for you. So I'm really glad it seems to be.
[Eating EmP's brain] probably isn't a good idea. I mean... He's British, which means his brain's wired for PAL and your eyes are NTSC. - Will