NOT A REVIEW: Quake Live

I'd forgotten how fast it was. It's a criminally long time since I played Quake III Arena, iD Software's seminal year-2000 multiplayer shooter. In that near-decade break, games have slowed down. Even the hectic fragging of Team Fortress 2 feels glacial by comparison. This is ridiculous.

Quake Live is Quake III. Simple as. Not Quake III in a browser, even; that it feeds off Firefox or IE is completely incidental. After you register, the game downloads to your hard drive as you complete the mandatory training and matchmaking arenas, and once you're playing, there's no way of telling this from the next FPS. It's full-screen, high-resolution and (relatively) high detail. I can find no significant differences between this and the original product.

Which makes playing it, and thinking about it, a bit weird. Quake III is very old. So Quake Live feels very old. There's an awkwardness to the complete lack of sensible tactics, mechanics that have been since revolutionised over and over again. It's all bunny-hopping, rocket-jumping, spazz-strafing madness. The simplicity is overwhelming. You run, and jump, and shoot. No further taxation necessary.

By extension, what was once gloriously silly feels a bit strange now. I'm quite good at first-person shooters, generally. I'm rubbish at Quake Live. Having demonstrated my ability to rocket-jump and bunny-hop successfully in the training mode, the game decided I was an expert. I'm really, plainly not. I keep forgetting myself, trying to take cover, move carefully, plan strategically. And Quake III just didn't work like that. It's all about speed and precision.

What's frustrating is that, while the former is present in abundance, the latter is really, significantly lacking. There's a miniscule mouse-lag. In most games, it wouldn't be apparent whatsoever. In Quake Live, it can mean the difference between a much-needed headshot and your own untimely and gruesome death. When your game is this ferociously high-octane, the slightest performance issues can be crippling. If they don't get this sorted out by the end of BETA, there's going to be grumpiness.

What's left is a game that's still ludicrous, silly, bonkers fun in short doses, but a decade-old FPS with dated mechanics and underwhelming visuals. The level design remains unprecidented for online shooting, which might just give it the edge it needs. But I kind of wish I hadn't played this. Instead of making me all nostalgic, it's ever-so-slightly sullied the memories of one of my favourite classic shooters.