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Review Archives (All Reviews)

You are currently looking through all reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by JoeTheDestroyer and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
Batman Returns (NES)

Batman Returns review (NES)

Reviewed on December 14, 2012

When I think of effective beat 'em ups, adjectives like "awesome" and "badass" come to mind, and those are the last words I'd use to describe a gang of combat-trained circus performers. Sorry, but I'll take broken bottles and seedy night clubs over frills, grease paint, and leotards any day.
Mario Bros. (Arcade)

Mario Bros. review (ARC)

Reviewed on November 30, 2012

For every time that I adapted to a situation, the game established new methods to disturb my equilibrium. For instance, it introduced new opponents like flies and crabs, the latter of which required two bumps to incapacitate. Dealing with those two, though, wasn't nearly as challenging or frustrating as navigating icy floors, which made the already-slick control response more difficult to work with.
The Wonderful End of the World (PC)

The Wonderful End of the World review (PC)

Reviewed on November 18, 2012

At best, copying so much of a game could be argued as an homage. At worst, it's lazy, insincere and cheap, calling to mind generic brand food found in most supermarket
Kid Klown in Night Mayor World (NES)

Kid Klown in Night Mayor World review (NES)

Reviewed on November 16, 2012

Kid Klown in Night Mayor World is a cute, forgettable, rudimentary platformer on NES. It’s one of a legion of mediocre sidescrollers that were released throughout the '80s and '90s that will likely be lost in the annals of gaming history, where they will be overshadowed by a handful of spectacular members from their genre. In other words, play those other titles instead.
Sweet Home (NES)

Sweet Home review (NES)

Reviewed on October 31, 2012

Regardless of Sweet Home's lacking challenge factor, the game still won my heart. As a lover of all things horror, from films to literature, playing an NES game that was as brutal as some of my favorite '80s fright flicks was a treat.
Zombie Nation (NES)

Zombie Nation review (NES)

Reviewed on October 28, 2012

In a shooter, extremely loose controls serve only to infuriate gamers by adding an element of cheapness to the difficulty. This is precisely what the game does, and it pays for it in the end. Instead of an action-packed mixture of beauty and quirk, Zombie Nation is an unstable and tedious shooter.
Haunted House (Atari 2600)

Haunted House review (A2600)

Reviewed on October 27, 2012

I'll dare to say what other niche fans will consider blasphemy: Haunted House has aged poorly.
Zombies Ate My Neighbors (SNES)

Zombies Ate My Neighbors review (SNES)

Reviewed on October 25, 2012

Without missing a beat, I crushed all opposition, rescued every neighbor, and stockpiled weapons and items like mad. With fluid and fast-paced mechanics paired with simple arcade-style action, it was difficult not to stomp my enemies into the ground and develop a complex.
Frankenstein: The Monster Returns (NES)

Frankenstein: The Monster Returns review (NES)

Reviewed on October 24, 2012

...[Frankenstein: The Monster Returns] is a ho-hum action title unworthy of your valuable time and brain cells. Skip it and read the original novel instead.
Frankenstein's Monster (Atari 2600)

Frankenstein's Monster review (A2600)

Reviewed on October 22, 2012

Its thanks to its simple structure, swift pace, and impressive implementation of an actual ending that Frankenstein's Monster is a stellar entry into Atari 2600's library. Unfortunately, it's not a well-known title, though it deserve to be. I say this because it's unlike other obscure Atari 2600 titles in that it's actually worth playing for fans of the console.
Dr. Chaos (NES)

Dr. Chaos review (NES)

Reviewed on October 15, 2012

At no point was I required to execute tough leaps or weave through a complex arrangement of platforms while worrying about a nearby winged skeleton. Everything was straightforward and obvious, and actually quite dull. Such vapidity brought down the experience as a whole and left me with a new unfortunate outlook on the game.
Ghost Manor (Atari 2600)

Ghost Manor review (A2600)

Reviewed on October 14, 2012

Ghost Manor sacrifices incremental difficulty boosts for variety, essentially providing you with multiple "level ones" that lack the challenge, bite and addictiveness of a typical 2600 game.
BloodRayne (GameCube)

BloodRayne review (GCN)

Reviewed on October 11, 2012

BloodRayne is not a taut scare game or a breathtaking artsy experience. It's an over-the-top action title with horror elements that hits all of the right marks, and sometimes that's all you need.
Zombie Shooter 2 (PC)

Zombie Shooter 2 review (PC)

Reviewed on October 09, 2012

Even as a cheap thrill, Zombie Shooter 2 fails to impress, as its unwarranted frustration factor will leave you looking for a more intense and less irksome experience.
Clock Tower (PlayStation)

Clock Tower review (PSX)

Reviewed on October 03, 2012

Clock Tower has some bite to it, mostly because you are not as enabled as Leon Kennedy or even Alan Wake. Your choice of heroes includes a school girl, her not-combat-trained friend, an investigator, and a reporter. In other words, you're screwed.
Soul (Xbox 360)

Soul review (X360)

Reviewed on October 01, 2012

I wish I could further yammer on about Soul and its face-breaking difficulty, but the truth is it's a very simple, straightforward game. What you see is what you get. You guide a soul through passageways and try not to touch obstructions. This is familiar territory, as it has been covered by many a flash game.
King's Knight (NES)

King's Knight review (NES)

Reviewed on September 10, 2012

Although it sounded like an interesting hybrid of shooter and RPG, the mix wasn't enough to hold my attention as a kid. Without the game's selling point to hold me in thrall, there was nothing to dull the stiff challenge I experienced.
Power Blade (NES)

Power Blade review (NES)

Reviewed on September 07, 2012

The situation only worsens when you secure a power suit, which turns any level into a massive abattoir. Thanks to the god complex that weapon upgrades like the power suit might give you, 90% of the game’s potential challenge is rendered null and void. Where's the entertainment in that?
Little Ninja Brothers (NES)

Little Ninja Brothers review (NES)

Reviewed on August 18, 2012

There are random encounters, for instance, but they don’t appear in the manner you might expect. Battles take place in real time on various battlefields. Basic stones serve as obstructions and ponds act as HP-draining traps. While negotiating such hazards, you must deliver knuckle sandwiches of justice to unruly beasts and wicked ninjas.
Starship Hector (NES)

Starship Hector review (NES)

Reviewed on August 17, 2012

It may seem like too much to take out a swarm of ships coming at you when you have to dodge four to eight bullets at the same time AND manage to take out the cannons to prevent further shots, but damn it, that first stage will teach you to do so, and you'll love it.

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