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Review Archives (All Reviews)

You are currently looking through all reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by JoeTheDestroyer and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
Sacred (PC)

Sacred review (PC)

Reviewed on February 28, 2013

Sacred's shortcoming is not that it doesn't feature a skull-crushing difficulty, but that it doesn't know when to put the lid on its simplicity.
Bloody Good Time (PC)

Bloody Good Time review (PC)

Reviewed on February 24, 2013

It could have lived up to its name...
Mega Man 2 (NES)

Mega Man 2 review (NES)

Reviewed on February 22, 2013

Yes, I've managed to write a Mega Man review without using "blue bomber" in the main body. You're welcome.
Chains (PC)

Chains review (PC)

Reviewed on February 08, 2013

Not found in this game: bondage.
Final Soldier (TurboGrafx-16)

Final Soldier review (TG16)

Reviewed on January 22, 2013

Middlin' Soldier
Castlevania: Symphony of the Night (PlayStation)

Castlevania: Symphony of the Night review (PSX)

Reviewed on January 20, 2013

I cherish so many facets of this game that even its minor flaws--which are heavily overshadowed its stellar exploration elements, strong atmosphere, breathtaking visuals, and fantastic soundtrack--occupy a special place in my heart.
Faria (NES)

Faria review (NES)

Reviewed on January 09, 2013

Faria should have charmed me with a cute fantasy world and antiquated (but loveable) RPG concepts. Instead, it bored me with unoriginality and frustrated me with its poor implementation of challenge, only to bore me in a different way once the challenge abruptly vanished.
Batman Returns (NES)

Batman Returns review (NES)

Reviewed on December 14, 2012

When I think of effective beat 'em ups, adjectives like "awesome" and "badass" come to mind, and those are the last words I'd use to describe a gang of combat-trained circus performers. Sorry, but I'll take broken bottles and seedy night clubs over frills, grease paint, and leotards any day.
Mario Bros. (Arcade)

Mario Bros. review (ARC)

Reviewed on November 30, 2012

For every time that I adapted to a situation, the game established new methods to disturb my equilibrium. For instance, it introduced new opponents like flies and crabs, the latter of which required two bumps to incapacitate. Dealing with those two, though, wasn't nearly as challenging or frustrating as navigating icy floors, which made the already-slick control response more difficult to work with.
The Wonderful End of the World (PC)

The Wonderful End of the World review (PC)

Reviewed on November 18, 2012

At best, copying so much of a game could be argued as an homage. At worst, it's lazy, insincere and cheap, calling to mind generic brand food found in most supermarket
Kid Klown in Night Mayor World (NES)

Kid Klown in Night Mayor World review (NES)

Reviewed on November 16, 2012

Kid Klown in Night Mayor World is a cute, forgettable, rudimentary platformer on NES. It’s one of a legion of mediocre sidescrollers that were released throughout the '80s and '90s that will likely be lost in the annals of gaming history, where they will be overshadowed by a handful of spectacular members from their genre. In other words, play those other titles instead.
Sweet Home (NES)

Sweet Home review (NES)

Reviewed on October 31, 2012

Regardless of Sweet Home's lacking challenge factor, the game still won my heart. As a lover of all things horror, from films to literature, playing an NES game that was as brutal as some of my favorite '80s fright flicks was a treat.
Zombie Nation (NES)

Zombie Nation review (NES)

Reviewed on October 28, 2012

In a shooter, extremely loose controls serve only to infuriate gamers by adding an element of cheapness to the difficulty. This is precisely what the game does, and it pays for it in the end. Instead of an action-packed mixture of beauty and quirk, Zombie Nation is an unstable and tedious shooter.
Haunted House (Atari 2600)

Haunted House review (A2600)

Reviewed on October 27, 2012

I'll dare to say what other niche fans will consider blasphemy: Haunted House has aged poorly.
Zombies Ate My Neighbors (SNES)

Zombies Ate My Neighbors review (SNES)

Reviewed on October 25, 2012

Without missing a beat, I crushed all opposition, rescued every neighbor, and stockpiled weapons and items like mad. With fluid and fast-paced mechanics paired with simple arcade-style action, it was difficult not to stomp my enemies into the ground and develop a complex.
Frankenstein: The Monster Returns (NES)

Frankenstein: The Monster Returns review (NES)

Reviewed on October 24, 2012

...[Frankenstein: The Monster Returns] is a ho-hum action title unworthy of your valuable time and brain cells. Skip it and read the original novel instead.
Frankenstein's Monster (Atari 2600)

Frankenstein's Monster review (A2600)

Reviewed on October 22, 2012

Its thanks to its simple structure, swift pace, and impressive implementation of an actual ending that Frankenstein's Monster is a stellar entry into Atari 2600's library. Unfortunately, it's not a well-known title, though it deserve to be. I say this because it's unlike other obscure Atari 2600 titles in that it's actually worth playing for fans of the console.
Dr. Chaos (NES)

Dr. Chaos review (NES)

Reviewed on October 15, 2012

At no point was I required to execute tough leaps or weave through a complex arrangement of platforms while worrying about a nearby winged skeleton. Everything was straightforward and obvious, and actually quite dull. Such vapidity brought down the experience as a whole and left me with a new unfortunate outlook on the game.
Ghost Manor (Atari 2600)

Ghost Manor review (A2600)

Reviewed on October 14, 2012

Ghost Manor sacrifices incremental difficulty boosts for variety, essentially providing you with multiple "level ones" that lack the challenge, bite and addictiveness of a typical 2600 game.
BloodRayne (GameCube)

BloodRayne review (GCN)

Reviewed on October 11, 2012

BloodRayne is not a taut scare game or a breathtaking artsy experience. It's an over-the-top action title with horror elements that hits all of the right marks, and sometimes that's all you need.

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