This was a great review! I hope that it's not the last one we'll be seeing from you, and I hope you don't mind a little bit of feedback.
The first thing I would say is that throughout, the grammar was genuinely excellent. This is a long review and there were only two or three places where odd word choice or omissions snuck into the mix. Here's one example:
After some practice I adjusted to the view, but it would occasionally made it difficult to see how much my attacks were charged.
There, the word 'made' should be 'make' instead. That's the kind of error that I never see myself in my own reviews until someone points them out to me, since the spellchecker will never bring it to your attention.
Speaking of how long the review is, it really did feel a bit on the long side. It's actually only just over 1300 words, only around 300 over my own typical review length, so perhaps the problem comes from the size of some paragraphs. You might want to consider how intimidating large paragraphs can be to the human mind when drafting future reviews, and perhaps one or two of the more beastly ones in this particular review can be divided.
I did like the examples you gave, which really show that you've given the game's finer points some thought and communicated well what it feels like to play the game. That's the sort of information that too many reviewers tend to leave out, so it was nice to see it here.
The only thing I would recommend possibly cutting is some of the introduction. It seems like you went on a little bit longer than necessary about the Penny Arcade folks. I realize that it's pertinent, but your review is long enough that you might want to trim it down to just the essentials. Most people likely to read this review are probably doing so because they already know all about Penny Arcade and just want to see how the game fared.
You do a good job of describing that, of course. Like I said, I hope we'll see more of you around here. This was a polished review and I know I'd be interested in seeing what you think of some other games if you're able to keep writing on this level.
The first thing I would say is that throughout, the grammar was genuinely excellent. This is a long review and there were only two or three places where odd word choice or omissions snuck into the mix. Here's one example:
After some practice I adjusted to the view, but it would occasionally made it difficult to see how much my attacks were charged.
There, the word 'made' should be 'make' instead. That's the kind of error that I never see myself in my own reviews until someone points them out to me, since the spellchecker will never bring it to your attention.
Speaking of how long the review is, it really did feel a bit on the long side. It's actually only just over 1300 words, only around 300 over my own typical review length, so perhaps the problem comes from the size of some paragraphs. You might want to consider how intimidating large paragraphs can be to the human mind when drafting future reviews, and perhaps one or two of the more beastly ones in this particular review can be divided.
I did like the examples you gave, which really show that you've given the game's finer points some thought and communicated well what it feels like to play the game. That's the sort of information that too many reviewers tend to leave out, so it was nice to see it here.
The only thing I would recommend possibly cutting is some of the introduction. It seems like you went on a little bit longer than necessary about the Penny Arcade folks. I realize that it's pertinent, but your review is long enough that you might want to trim it down to just the essentials. Most people likely to read this review are probably doing so because they already know all about Penny Arcade and just want to see how the game fared.
You do a good job of describing that, of course. Like I said, I hope we'll see more of you around here. This was a polished review and I know I'd be interested in seeing what you think of some other games if you're able to keep writing on this level.
"Too often we enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought." - John F. Kennedy on reality
"What if everything you see is more than what you see--the person next to you is a warrior and the space that appears empty is a secret door to another world? What if something appears that shouldn't? You either dismiss it, or you accept that there is much more to the world than you think. Perhaps it really is a doorway, and if you choose to go inside, you'll find many unexpected things." - Shigeru Miyamoto on secret doors to another world
"What if everything you see is more than what you see--the person next to you is a warrior and the space that appears empty is a secret door to another world? What if something appears that shouldn't? You either dismiss it, or you accept that there is much more to the world than you think. Perhaps it really is a doorway, and if you choose to go inside, you'll find many unexpected things." - Shigeru Miyamoto on secret doors to another world
