You are not like the other Powerade Zeroes. They are vaguely medicinal, but their underlying flavors are too well defined--strawberry or grape. You are mixed berry. You allow no questions as to what berries, besides blueberries are actually BLUE.

There are other regular power-ade flavors. Pink Lemonade comes close to you, as do those weird light green and cloudy white ones. But they are named after weird emotions.

You had a competitor in powdered blue Gatorade once, but Sam's Club stopped carrying it. Then Gatorade got Tiger Woods's endorsement. He is from Stanford. I hate Stanford. Plus Gatorade is too sweet tasting to feel like it gives you a charge.

And you are frequently on sale, five for a buck, at Jewel, easing the exorbitant 3% Cook County beverage tax.

Veritably, you are to sports drinks as Ny-Quil is to cold medicine.