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Boobs Puzzle (PC) review"Boobs Puzzle isn't long enough to satisfy those with any but the shortest of attention spans." |
Boobs Puzzle released on Steam on September 12, 2018, and I wouldn't have even heard of it if a PR person I follow on Twitter hadn't mentioned the game is the worst of the week's new releases. I checked the store, found it costs only $0.99, and decided I might as well give the game a shot. How bad could it be?
Unlike many puzzle titles I've played in recent years, Boobs Puzzle is (appropriately, you might say while in a juvenile mindset) a match-2 game. You need only position two blocks of the same color next to one another and then you can click on one to clear it and make room for more pieces to drop into your play area.
Your play area, by the way, is usually rather small, with a portrait of a busty young lady in the background with clouds floating in front of her. Your goal is to meet a given stage's requirements by making the specified number of matches without running out of moves or (in one case) allowing a timer to expire. Once you meet the goal, you are treated to a portrait of a young lady's naughty bits, and the portions of her anatomy you might see are not limited to just the eponymous boobs. Now there's a sentence I never thought I would type!
I started playing Boobs Puzzle at 4:20 in the afternoon, and I was done by 4:34. You might say "But Jason, you really need to play more of a game like that before you can review it." And to that I say "But I completed the whole game and earned the maximum 3-star rating on every stage!"
There are a total of only 10 (generally simple) stages in Boob's Puzzle, and most of them can be completed in under a minute quite easily. I actually failed to complete stages on my first attempt on more than one occasion and still I was done in under 15 minutes.
There's not a lot of gameplay variety available in those ten stages. Usually, you just have to clear a few tiles of specified colors. Sometimes, what's asked of you gets a little bit trickier, like when you have to cause four flowers to drop from the top of the screen down to the bottom by clearing their way. There are power-ups you can tap to cause explosions in their surrounding areas, which is helpful because doing so doesn't use up a move.
While you play, cheery music loops in the background, but it quickly comes to feel like menu music and there's just the one song, accompanied by popping sounds as you clear panels. Fortunately, you can disable music and sound effects separately or together from the title screen, if you're so inclined. You can also modify the window size when you first boot up the game, which might be useful if a family member or pet starts to stroll into the room while you're playing.
I suppose the big question potential consumers might have, if they're considering a purchase after reading all of the above, is whether the artwork is alluring enough to justify a purchase. I can't answer that question for them, of course. I would say the line art is fine, and the coloring seems decent, but whether the game arouses its audience or not is a personal matter.
Boobs Puzzle is a functional but unexceptional package that delivers explicit drawings to players and requires minimal skill and time on their part if they hope to see everything they are purchasing with their $0.99. Given that fact, and the number of titles released on Steam each week, I doubt Boobs Puzzle is truly the worst thing anyone published during that period. However, I also don't foresee it winning any awards. Oh, and there's already a sequel on the way, due a little more than a week from now. I might skip that one.
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Staff review by Jason Venter (September 17, 2018)
Jason Venter has been playing games for 30 years, since discovering the Apple IIe version of Mario Bros. in his elementary school days. Now he writes about them, here at HonestGamers and also at other sites that agree to pay him for his words. |
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