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Review Archives (All Reviews)

You are currently looking through all reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by JoeTheDestroyer and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
Peter Pan and the Pirates (NES)

Peter Pan and the Pirates review (NES)

Reviewed on August 08, 2012

It's like Equilibrium slapped together a basic platformer, crudely inserted characters from the television series, then tacked on the ability to fly and called it a day. Even if you are a fan of the show, you deserve way better than this. You're much better off browsing old episodes on YouTube and forgetting this awkward license title exists.
Arkista's Ring (NES)

Arkista's Ring review (NES)

Reviewed on August 02, 2012

The game is enjoyable for the first forty stages or so, but still not brilliant. It certainly isn't good enough to justify 124 stages, or even half that.
Whomp 'Em (NES)

Whomp 'Em review (NES)

Reviewed on July 29, 2012

Copying an established name makes sense, but turning out a sloppy copy doesn't. If you're going to rip someone off, then do your best to refine their work. Show a rival company how it's done! If you're just going to crank out an imperfect clone, then why bother?
Magmax (NES)

Magmax review (NES)

Reviewed on July 25, 2012

Magmax is one of those games I would list as mediocre, if not for one major fault: it's incredibly boring. The game is quite stable and playable, but the burning question is would you want to play it?
The Simpsons: Bart vs. the World (NES)

The Simpsons: Bart vs. the World review (NES)

Reviewed on July 21, 2012

The main problems reside in platforming and level design. There are too many mazes and too many instances where you must rely on faulty controls to overcome a series of tricky, tedious jumps. All for what? So you can play the four levels that are actually worthwhile? No thanks. I'll take Simpsons: Hit & Run any day.
Little Samson (NES)

Little Samson review (NES)

Reviewed on July 19, 2012

It's yet another case in which a developer wisely forsook innovation for refinement. The team at Takeru knew their audience, they knew what platformer players wanted, and they delivered. Oh, did they ever deliver
Advanced Dungeons & Dragons: Heroes of the Lance (NES)

Advanced Dungeons & Dragons: Heroes of the Lance review (NES)

Reviewed on July 12, 2012

In Heroes of the Lance, traveling was more like wandering. I had no idea where I was at any point, where I was going, or how I was going to get to the unknown goal. I'd try a random door and hope what was beyond it didn't massacre my party. From there I'd try another random door, and another, and another in the hopes of reaching the mysterious goal.
Monster Party (NES)

Monster Party review (NES)

Reviewed on July 09, 2012

[Monster Party] pales in comparison to other side-scrollers on the NES; games that feature brilliant levels, stiff challenges, and epic 8-bit boss battles. Sadly, little of that appears in Monster Party.
Master Chu and the Drunkard Hu (NES)

Master Chu and the Drunkard Hu review (NES)

Reviewed on July 06, 2012

Here's a game where Color Dreams stepped up a little bit, but ultimately fell back into their old nasty habits. They curbed their weakness for ripoffs with unstable play control, but ultimately still gave us a game that isn't at all pleasing to play.
Air Fortress (NES)

Air Fortress review (NES)

Reviewed on July 04, 2012

Air Fortress came to life when it thrust me into desperate situations while inside the fortress itself. Forget the blending of genres. The blend of isolation, claustrophobia, tension, panic, and the fear that you might not have enough energy to survive was the real mixture this game thrived on.
Kickle Cubicle (NES)

Kickle Cubicle review (NES)

Reviewed on July 02, 2012

It's like the developers spent more time making it look cute and less time developing a challenging puzzler. I don't know if the toned down challenge was intentional, what with the cutesy atmosphere and all, but it sure as hell wasn't welcome.
Onyanko Town (NES)

Onyanko Town review (NES)

Reviewed on June 30, 2012

It's a simple arcade-style game that would work great in small sessions, if not for its shortcomings.
Captain Skyhawk (NES)

Captain Skyhawk review (NES)

Reviewed on June 29, 2012

Rare's invitation to play and keep playing is what makes the game worthwhile. It's not only a charming and fun title, but you can tell the developers wanted you to keep playing and enjoy the time you spend.
Journey (PlayStation 3)

Journey review (PS3)

Reviewed on June 25, 2012

I'm not going to say I didn't enjoy Journey. That would be a bold-faced lie. I guess what I'm saying is that I enjoyed it, but could have enjoyed it more.
Dragon Power (NES)

Dragon Power review (NES)

Reviewed on June 22, 2012

...this is an action game where you benefit from avoiding combat.
Titan Quest (PC)

Titan Quest review (PC)

Reviewed on June 21, 2012

Titan Quest is an exciting bash across ancient lands. Very little about this game is innovative. Rather than experimenting with new concepts, Iron Lore took familiar ones and refined them. They knew what kind of game they were making. They didn't overload it with pretentious storytelling or bits of narrative that demean the action.
Amagon (NES)

Amagon review (NES)

Reviewed on June 17, 2012

Amagon is a laborious run ‘n gun adventure with little to nothing to justify the workman-like experience. It’s so much easier to just call it a “waste of time.”
Isolated Warrior (NES)

Isolated Warrior review (NES)

Reviewed on June 13, 2012

Isolated Warrior always leaves me with a heavy heart. It's a great game unfortunately trapped within a decent game. Had Kid left the platformer elements out, it would have been excellent. I can admire their desire for innovation, but innovation is not inherently a good quality.
Bubble Bath Babes (NES)

Bubble Bath Babes review (NES)

Reviewed on June 08, 2012

That describes Bubble Bath Babes: yet another dull puzzle game fused together with yet another unsexy piece of gaming erotica. If I can say anything positive, it's that Babes is not complete dreck like the porn games on Atari 2600 or Commodore 64. Really, though, that's much of a compliment.
Deus Ex (PC)

Deus Ex review (PC)

Reviewed on June 02, 2012

The tech-noir feel can be cheesy at times, and the visuals are dated, but the game is still great. Here's a game that's versatile enough to allow you to play how you want. Here's a title filled with cleverly designed levels, special skills and a variety of gadgets that help meld the game to your playing style. Maybe it's not as relevant today as it was in 2000, and maybe it's an eyesore, but it's definitely still an exciting title.

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