Yakuza 0 Blues
August 05, 2018

I want so hard to love Yakuza 0 now it's got a very fairly priced PC release, but it actively fights me every step of the way. For one, it's buggy as hell. You have to actively trick it just to get the bloody thing running.

I installed it, and it crashed seconds later. Uninstalled, ran it, same thing. Tried numerous fixes and eventually got it to boot up by unplugging my gamepad. Second loading screen say "Real Yakuza uses gamepads"

Plugged pad back in, payed a good few hours in. Good times were had. Next morning, crashed as soon as it ran. I know your game, thought I, unplugged the pad. Still crashed. To run it now you have to do a weird combo of either unplugging the pad, verifying files, or launching the game directly from the .exe. Sometimes just one works, sometimes you need to use a combo of them. Just to run the bloody game.

The the game will randomly crash at certain missions. Want to forget bludgeoning people and beat a 10 year old kid at pocket racing? Tough! Start that mission thread and back to desktop with you. It has old-school hard-point save points, too, so you best be prepared to lose huge chunks of progress randomly. Doesn't matter how many fights you've raged through opposition stun locks before that. Do it all again.

The stun locking is absolute rage-fuel. Sometimes you'll take on a small group of people who time their attacks perfectly so that the entire fight is just you getting pummeled and there's nothing you can do but take it, die, and hope the reload is fairer on you. But it won't be - god help you it won't be.

On the bright side, though, played a good hour of Out Run in the arcades.

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