Just as your introduction says about the game, this review brought up some interesting points, such as the racism/sexism bit.
For future, I do have a few recommendations:
1) In the more descriptive areas (visuals, etc) consider "show, not tell". Saying that something looks fabulous isn't as compelling as painting a mental image that we can't help but agree is fabulous.
2) Tighten the punctuation. For example, the first sentence itself isn't grammatically sound. Punctuation issues sometimes make this review harder to follow than it needs to be.
3) Consider reorganizing the structure. It felt strange to read several short paragraphs, then a big paragraph that felt like the meat of your analysis, then back to some short paragraphs. After the big morality paragraph, it felt like you were just covering the bases. It came across as uneven.
//Zig
For future, I do have a few recommendations:
1) In the more descriptive areas (visuals, etc) consider "show, not tell". Saying that something looks fabulous isn't as compelling as painting a mental image that we can't help but agree is fabulous.
2) Tighten the punctuation. For example, the first sentence itself isn't grammatically sound. Punctuation issues sometimes make this review harder to follow than it needs to be.
3) Consider reorganizing the structure. It felt strange to read several short paragraphs, then a big paragraph that felt like the meat of your analysis, then back to some short paragraphs. After the big morality paragraph, it felt like you were just covering the bases. It came across as uneven.
//Zig