The Beat-'Em-Up Genre is in Acoma

Jeff Gerstmann recently wrote, "The Beat-Em'-Up genre is dead." And while Final Fight: Streetwise was truly a disappointment, I don't think the genre is dead. It's just been knocked unconscious. Ever since The Bouncer and Final Force came out (or as Jeff's puts it - "ever since [gaming] has went polygonal"), the industry sees the genre as a curse. For those that do delve into the genre, no one has really stepped up to the plate. Not even Jade Empire, The Matrix, Shaolin Monks, or The Warriors.

I don't want Grand Theft Auto without weapons. I don't want a game where blood tries to splurge from every direction it can possibly splurge.

What I want is hand-to-face, punch-to-stomach, knee-in-groin action.

And is it really so much to ask? Turn Def Jam Vendetta's raw gameplay into a beat-'em-up, put in a street, and it would work. What about wrestling? Just work on the hit detection, work on the movement controls, and there, and voila! Sure, it's easier said than done, but it seems that all it would take is a few tweaks to the core mechanics. And plenty of games have tempted us. Tekken 3, 4, and 5 have been toying us with Tekken Force and "Jin: The Devil Within". But they are so poorly executed that I feel like someone is dangling a carrot in front of my face.

I mean, the 2D fighting genre is painfully similar. Why hasn't Street Fighter had a beat-'em-up spin-off yet? It has a puzzle game for Pete's sake! And if we're going to get technical, the very first Street Fighter was a beat-em-up. Why can't it return to its roots? Why not extend the playing field of Street Fighter III? It has the flow, precision, and accessibility. Is making a beat-'em-up such a sin?

So what would it take to have a great beat-em-up? I think it's going to take "Fight Night Round 3 on the Xbox360" hit detection. It doesn't have to be detailed to the point where I can see faces ripple, but at least let us see some blood, some bruises, some cuts. You know, damage?

More improtantly, it's the repetition that needs to be cracked. Urban Reign, Final Fight, and The Bouncer are too repetitive - it's what to be expected coming from a game that involves mashing buttons. But then again, the genre can learn from his brethren like God of War. Kratos is essentially a beat-'em-up character except with axes. What was so great about it? That you could lay the smackdown in the most bad ass of bad ass of ways. Let's translate that to this genre. Don't just punch the minotaur but get into a mini-game and thrash the beast. How? Let your imagination go wild. Pulverize the minotaur in the stomach, kick its head off, split its skull open with your hands, or get all Scorpion fatality on its ass.

Think visceral. Think Wolverine. Think Condemned without the weapons. You can hear your footsteps in the mist. Heaving between the teeth. Your enemies can taste you, but you have your fists ready. A beast gnarls, rushes without mercy. But you stiff arm. You mount it and get all UFC on it, bludgeoning its face from left to right.

You can hear its pain and your exhaustion. And as you can hit from behind, you spew out blood from your mouth as your head hits the wall. But it only makes you angrier. As you leap off the wall, your eyes see the guy's neck, and your hands seizes it, slamming him onto the tiled floor. Your friend, a black belt clasped across her waist, sends her hand through your enemy. And his ribcage cracks.

What more does it take?

Make it crisp. Make it serious. And you've got yourself a hit.

It's time the beat-em-up genre woke up.