Reviews by sho, page 4

Samurai Sword review

Personally I recommend that you just look at all the screenshots, because whatever crazy scenarios your imagination comes up with are almost certainly going to be a whole lot cooler than the real thing.

Sho · January 19, 2007

Staff PC HG exclusive

Rise of the Dragon review

After the mayor’s daughter becomes the latest victim of a new drug that fatally mutates its users into twisted monstrosities, Blade reluctantly finds himself entangled with both the underworld Triads and an ancient Chinese prophecy…

Sho · January 17, 2007

Staff Sega CD HG exclusive

Night Trap review

This game was once singled out as representing everything wrong with the entire industry. That’s hard to do!

Sho · October 31, 2006

Staff PC HG exclusive

Waxworks review

Waxworks is a 1st person, real-time dungeon crawl that’s sure to provides hours of wholesome entertainment for the whole family – that is, if you’re the Addams Family.

Sho · October 31, 2006

Staff PC HG exclusive

Night Trap review

The last and best release of Night Trap, unfortunately the PC version is also the most scarce; most people aren’t even aware that it exists! But while you’d really have to be a fan of the original’s campy humor and ridiculous acting to…

Sho · October 31, 2006

Staff Amiga HG exclusive

Brides of Dracula review

Whether he’s being portrayed by Sir Christopher Lee or George Hamilton, one simple fact remains the same: Count Dracula is history’s greatest pimp.

Sho · October 31, 2006

Staff NES

Phantom Fighter review

In this game you assume the role of an aged kung-fu master who channels his years of ancient wisdom so that he can kick vampires in the nads.

Sho · October 28, 2006

Staff PC HG exclusive

I, Damiano review

Somewhere in the midst of all this frivolity are cheery themes like wholesale genocide, illicit sex, and an epidemic of the Black Death; this is of course followed by folk dancing, because Damiano is a very complex individual.

Sho · October 13, 2006

Staff NES HG exclusive

Castlevania III: Dracula's Curse review

Everyone recognizes the gaming brilliance that is Castlevania III – which is why I’m not going to bother reviewing it.

Sho · October 10, 2006

Staff Arcade HG exclusive

Haunted Castle review

Don’t hate Haunted Castle just because there aren’t any candles to whip, the sub-weapons are totally lame, and Simon has blue hair. That would be silly. No, you should hate it because it’s a sadistic monster that feeds off your suffering…

Sho · October 3, 2006

Staff Arcade HG exclusive

Skull & Crossbones review

If yer in the market for some rum-soaked swashbucklin’ filled with murderous buccaneers then this X marks a barely corroded doubloon o’ the beat ‘em up variety, straight and true.

Sho · September 19, 2006

Staff NES

Drac's Night Out review

Slipping on these soles will allow Dracula to run faster and jump higher than any vampire has ever dreamed before. It’s gotta be the shoes! But just like real Reeboks, his Pumps will only last for a few seconds before disintegrating into…

Sho · August 19, 2006

Staff Amiga HG exclusive

Zombi review

Just like every other right-thinking individual, I eagerly anticipate the day/night/nuclear winter when the infernal legions of darkness rise up from their graves in order to crush the living beneath their desiccated heels. Hence the most…

Sho · August 13, 2006

Staff MSX HG exclusive

Snatcher review

Hideo Kojima’s SNATCHER is a kickass graphic adventure that’s best described as an inspired synthesis of “Blade Runner,” “Terminator,” and “Wacky Japanese Perverts on Parade.” No doubt you’re already well aware of this thanks to the highly…

Sho · August 9, 2006

Staff Atari 2600 HG exclusive

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre review

While it certainly pushes the envelope in terms of content even by today’s standards, this massacre of good taste quickly runs out of gas both metaphorically and quite literally.

Sho · July 30, 2006

Staff Amiga HG exclusive

Sexy Droids review

This is a simple but engaging puzzle game for the whole family. Unless your family happens to be offended by nudity, because they’re the sort of puzzles where you gradually reveal pictures of women revealing themselves. Only instead of…

Sho · July 11, 2006

Staff Atari 2600 HG exclusive

Halloween review

When a vengeful (aren't they all?) maniac named Michael Myers escapes from the mental hospital just in time for the holidays, it's a pretty safe bet that pumpkins won't be the only things getting carved up tonight.

Sho · October 31, 2005

Staff Commodore 64 HG exclusive

Friday the 13th review

In an uncharacteristic attempt at “cleverness,” that shambling zombie bodybuilder Jason Voorhees has figured out how to successfully pass himself off as little girls and the elderly. That’s right, one of your campground companions is…

Sho · October 23, 2005

Staff Arcade

Rampage review

Rampage’s attempts at proper villainy ultimately fall flatter than an animated coyote (apetitius giganticus) who finds himself momentarily hovering with the clouds high above a desert ravine.

Sho · October 19, 2005

Staff Turbografx-CD HG exclusive

Akumajou Dracula X: Chi no Rondo review

Dracula X strikes a masterful balance between old-school Castlevania action and all that newfangled exploration that dominates the series today as surely as our hero strikes an oaken stake into some luckless bloodsucker’s heart.

Sho · August 6, 2005