Review Archives (All Reviews)

You are currently looking through all reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by sho and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
	Samurai Sword review (FDS) Reviewed on January 19, 2007 Personally I recommend that you just look at all the screenshots, because whatever crazy scenarios your imagination comes up with are almost certainly going to be a whole lot cooler than the real thing.	1.5/5
	Rise of the Dragon review (PC) Reviewed on January 17, 2007 After the mayor’s daughter becomes the latest victim of a new drug that fatally mutates its users into twisted monstrosities, Blade reluctantly finds himself entangled with both the underworld Triads and an ancient Chinese prophecy proclaiming him the destined hero who either saves the world or gets “torn into thousands of itty-bitty pieces by the Evil One.”	4/5
	Night Trap review (SCD) Reviewed on October 31, 2006 This game was once singled out as representing everything wrong with the entire industry. That’s hard to do!	2/5
	Waxworks review (PC) Reviewed on October 31, 2006 Waxworks is a 1st person, real-time dungeon crawl that’s sure to provides hours of wholesome entertainment for the whole family – that is, if you’re the Addams Family.	4/5
	Night Trap review (PC) Reviewed on October 31, 2006 The last and best release of Night Trap, unfortunately the PC version is also the most scarce; most people aren’t even aware that it exists! But while you’d really have to be a fan of the original’s campy humor and ridiculous acting to bother tracking it down, those who do so are going to be treated to a significant upgrade of this timeless Sega CD “classic.”	3/5
	Brides of Dracula review (AMIGA) Reviewed on October 31, 2006 Whether he’s being portrayed by Sir Christopher Lee or George Hamilton, one simple fact remains the same: Count Dracula is history’s greatest pimp.	3/5
	Phantom Fighter review (NES) Reviewed on October 28, 2006 In this game you assume the role of an aged kung-fu master who channels his years of ancient wisdom so that he can kick vampires in the nads.	2/5
	I, Damiano review (PC) Reviewed on October 13, 2006 Somewhere in the midst of all this frivolity are cheery themes like wholesale genocide, illicit sex, and an epidemic of the Black Death; this is of course followed by folk dancing, because Damiano is a very complex individual.	1.5/5
	Castlevania III: Dracula's Curse review (NES) Reviewed on October 10, 2006 Everyone recognizes the gaming brilliance that is Castlevania III – which is why I’m not going to bother reviewing it.	5/5
	Haunted Castle review (ARC) Reviewed on October 03, 2006 Don’t hate Haunted Castle just because there aren’t any candles to whip, the sub-weapons are totally lame, and Simon has blue hair. That would be silly. No, you should hate it because it’s a sadistic monster that feeds off your suffering (and pocket change).	2/5
	Skull & Crossbones review (ARC) Reviewed on September 19, 2006 If yer in the market for some rum-soaked swashbucklin’ filled with murderous buccaneers then this X marks a barely corroded doubloon o’ the beat ‘em up variety, straight and true.	3.5/5
	Drac's Night Out review (NES) Reviewed on August 19, 2006 Slipping on these soles will allow Dracula to run faster and jump higher than any vampire has ever dreamed before. It’s gotta be the shoes! But just like real Reeboks, his Pumps will only last for a few seconds before disintegrating into dust.	3/5
	Zombi review (AMIGA) Reviewed on August 13, 2006 Just like every other right-thinking individual, I eagerly anticipate the day/night/nuclear winter when the infernal legions of darkness rise up from their graves in order to crush the living beneath their desiccated heels. Hence the most noteworthy thing about this game is that it’s essentially George Romero’s classic Dawn of the Dead adapted into a graphic adventure.	2/5
	Snatcher review (MSX) Reviewed on August 09, 2006 Hideo Kojima’s SNATCHER is a kickass graphic adventure that’s best described as an inspired synthesis of “Blade Runner,” “Terminator,” and “Wacky Japanese Perverts on Parade.” No doubt you’re already well aware of this thanks to the highly sought-after Sega CD port, but the MSX2 original is definitely worth checking out – particularly since it’s been completely translated into English.	4/5
	The Texas Chainsaw Massacre review (A2600) Reviewed on July 30, 2006 While it certainly pushes the envelope in terms of content even by today’s standards, this massacre of good taste quickly runs out of gas both metaphorically and quite literally.	0.5/5
	Sexy Droids review (AMIGA) Reviewed on July 11, 2006 This is a simple but engaging puzzle game for the whole family. Unless your family happens to be offended by nudity, because they’re the sort of puzzles where you gradually reveal pictures of women revealing themselves. Only instead of Penthouse Pets in the buff, you’ll be “treated” to chrome-plated gynoids posing provocatively in skimpy swimwear – and Robocop helmets.	3/5
	Halloween review (A2600) Reviewed on October 31, 2005 When a vengeful (aren't they all?) maniac named Michael Myers escapes from the mental hospital just in time for the holidays, it's a pretty safe bet that pumpkins won't be the only things getting carved up tonight.	3/5
	Friday the 13th review (C64) Reviewed on October 23, 2005 In an uncharacteristic attempt at “cleverness,” that shambling zombie bodybuilder Jason Voorhees has figured out how to successfully pass himself off as little girls and the elderly. That’s right, one of your campground companions is actually the homoerotic homicidal maniac in a cunning disguise!	0.5/5
	Rampage review (ARC) Reviewed on October 19, 2005 Rampage’s attempts at proper villainy ultimately fall flatter than an animated coyote (apetitius giganticus) who finds himself momentarily hovering with the clouds high above a desert ravine.	1.5/5
	Akumajou Dracula X: Chi no Rondo review (TGCD) Reviewed on August 06, 2005 Dracula X strikes a masterful balance between old-school Castlevania action and all that newfangled exploration that dominates the series today as surely as our hero strikes an oaken stake into some luckless bloodsucker’s heart.	4.5/5

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