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Review Archives (All Reviews)

You are currently looking through all reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by sho and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
Harvest Moon (SNES)

Harvest Moon review (SNES)

Reviewed on August 06, 2005

Maybe this just isn’t my type of game, but despite its superficially inventive premise, I really don’t see how “tedious exercises in monotony” could be anyone’s type of game.
Splatterhouse: Wanpaku Graffiti (NES)

Splatterhouse: Wanpaku Graffiti review (NES)

Reviewed on July 09, 2005

At first the explicit violence that Splatterhouse is best known for makes it seem like a pretty unlikely choice for an SD game, but it actually ends up being the best entry in the series.
Lagoon (SNES)

Lagoon review (SNES)

Reviewed on July 09, 2005

It’s a shame that the soundtrack is so damn rare or I’d strongly recommend just forgetting the game entirely and enjoying the fantastic score instead.
Akumajou Dracula (Famicom Disk System)

Akumajou Dracula review (FDS)

Reviewed on June 29, 2005

Creatures of the night, exchanging glances . . .
The Secret of Monkey Island (Sega CD)

The Secret of Monkey Island review (SCD)

Reviewed on June 29, 2005

Let me make this clear from the beginning: The Secret of Monkey Island is a classic point & click adventure chock full of oddball humor and zesty piratey goodness. The Sega CD translation, however, does a fine job of languishing on a dusty shelf. Preferably someone else’s.
Monster Party (NES)

Monster Party review (NES)

Reviewed on June 09, 2005

There’s just something about this game – maybe it’s the unhappy looking skeletons bathed in an ocean of blood, I don’t know – that tells me Nintendo didn’t screen it for potentially offensive content quite as thoroughly as they normally do.
Techno Cop (Genesis)

Techno Cop review (GEN)

Reviewed on June 07, 2005

It’s as if the programmers realized the sum of their efforts was barely playable and that no one would ever persevere to the end; feeble developers, I salute your painful honesty.
King of the Monsters (NeoGeo)

King of the Monsters review (NEO)

Reviewed on May 06, 2005

Giant monsters are cool. Giant monsters who beat you to a pulp and take your lunch money are not.
Ai Cho Aniki (Turbografx-CD)

Ai Cho Aniki review (TGCD)

Reviewed on April 29, 2005

The first thing that you’re going to notice about this game, and this is neither good or bad but merely a fact, is that it’s full of naked men.
Strip Fighter II (TurboGrafx-16)

Strip Fighter II review (TG16)

Reviewed on April 13, 2005

You won’t even want to beat it.
Gekibo: Gekisha Boy (TurboGrafx-16)

Gekibo: Gekisha Boy review (TG16)

Reviewed on March 27, 2005

Pernicious pictorials to publicize perverted persons, prose pending.
Advanced Dungeons & Dragons: Heroes of the Lance (NES)

Advanced Dungeons & Dragons: Heroes of the Lance review (NES)

Reviewed on March 19, 2005

You might have hoped that this game gets its dismal reputation because of poor graphics, the complexities of the AD&D rules, or something equally asinine. Hope is the denial of reality.
Virgin Roster  ~Shukketsubo~ (PC)

Virgin Roster ~Shukketsubo~ review (PC)

Reviewed on February 25, 2005

You’re a loathsome son of a bitch who violently rapes innocent schoolgirls and faculty to satiate your hideous urges.
Street Fighter II': Champion Edition (TurboGrafx-16)

Street Fighter II': Champion Edition review (TG16)

Reviewed on February 24, 2005

Most people are going to realize that buying this one just doesn’t make any practical sense for them. But that doesn’t take anything away from the fact that NEC pulled off a small miracle to come so close with such old hardware.
Final Fantasy X-2 (PlayStation 2)

Final Fantasy X-2 review (PS2)

Reviewed on August 22, 2004

I consider it a rather strange occurrence when the resulting product is not only a disappointment, but seems like it was intentionally developed as a way to slap everyone who enjoyed the original game right in the face.
Street Fighter (Arcade)

Street Fighter review (ARC)

Reviewed on July 21, 2004

"YOOVE GAHT AH ROHT TOO RAHN BEFOH YOO BEET MEE, TOORIGH AGAAYN KEED (heh heh heh hahahahaha)"
Double Dragon (Atari 2600)

Double Dragon review (A2600)

Reviewed on July 21, 2004

You’ve got to give Activision credit for ignoring both the hardware’s obvious limitations and a dose of common sense to throw caution to the wind and attempt it anyway. Pity that you can’t give them credit for the game itself.
Friday the 13th (NES)

Friday the 13th review (NES)

Reviewed on July 21, 2004

The NES adaptation of Friday the 13th takes this laughably awful (and sometimes merely “awful”) saga full of campy dialogue, bloody hatchets and lacy perfumed underthings, only to cast them aside in favor of an awkward mix of action and strategy.
El Viento (Genesis)

El Viento review (GEN)

Reviewed on July 19, 2004

If you're not hooked by the time of the epic confrontation high atop the spires of the Empire State Building then you've surely mislaid your enthusiasm for 2D Blast Processing goodness somewhere along the way.
Splatterhouse (TurboGrafx-16)

Splatterhouse review (TG16)

Reviewed on July 19, 2004

While there’s certainly plenty of carnage to be found, unfortunately the arcade faithful will discover this SplatterHouse to be a shadow of its parent.

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