Invalid characterset or character set not supported EmP bitches about: Anime





EmP bitches about: Anime
August 18, 2008

It’s not often I do posts like these because, frankly, I know you all look up to me as some unflapping totem of awesomeness and I don’t like to drop in to normal conversation that I’m really just a huge geek like the rest of you, but sometimes, you should all just be happy to hear my opinion on things. So, I’m going to talk about anime -- which I watch.



Claymore is an anime about skimpily dressed barely post-teen girls battling huge demons that eat people’s guts. It’s surprisingly gory and tries to tackle subjects with a maturity that usually behoves its genre. At times, it’s sobering, graphic and depressing. It also has the single worst ending since Grandia.

Grandia’s ending is so bad that me and DoI like to pretend we’ve never finished the game. But, deep in our souls, we know we have, It has wounded us in ways we’re scared to speak of.



What follows is spoilers.

Imagine you’re a young girl between 10-13. It’s not hard; Boo does it daily. Your family has been eaten by a bunch of demons who spared your life just so they can drag you around torturing and sexually abusing you. Life is bad. One day, you are saved by a super secret sect of warriors by complete accident, and you start to follow one around until the two of you form a sugary-sweet bond of love. This continues until a well-written source of EVIL turns up and kills your guardian. Heartbroken and simmering with vengeance, you throw away your humanity to join said sect for the sole purpose of hunting down this EVIL -- an evil some hundred times more powerful than you -- and kill it until it is dead.

Shenanigans ensure. Demons are slain by your ridiculously oversized sword, seas of blood are shed, limbs are chopped up and interchanged in such a way to make Berserk look like a tame Broadway musical. You start killing Awakened Beings, demons that were once human but have reverted to huge beasties that want to eat you. Most of your story is a drawn out Rocky-like training monologue where you overcome some odds and get a little stronger. You kill, slice and main. Sometimes other warriors hang around in the plot for a while, but they mostly exist to get slaughtered to demonstrate how far the odds are stacked against you. You finally find the source of EVIL and, thanks to PLOT PROTECTION, hurt it enough to revert it back to her original human form. She bows before you, naked and sobbing, and all you need do is lop off her head. She's responsible for millions of random deaths, would slaughter again giving half a chance and has since her original sin, killed a handful of your closest chums.

You let her live because killing her would make you just as bad as her.



Seriously, what the hell? The entire anime has been about killing far lesser evils which you have done without pause and with apparent glee. You even go out of your way to kill an awakened being that tells you right out he only attacks and kills those that come to hunt him, meaning he’d happily exits hidden away in his mountain and pose no threat to anyone if you leave him alone. But, here, you have one of the most bloodthirsty monsters you can find at your mercy, but killing her would be wrong.

Girls in anime: more often than not, fantastically dumb.

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Masters Masters - August 18, 2008 (09:52 AM)
Wow this is a powerful post--with pictures and everything. Makes my entries look so weak.

I want to talk about anime but I don't have the requisite knowledge to carry my end of the conversation. :(

But seriously, I used to be into anime like crazy. You'll be able to tell from my favourites how old school I am, and how long it's been since I watched anything:

Castle of Cagliostro
Wings of the Honneamise
Princess Mononoke
Kiki's Delivery Service
Cowboy Bebop: The Movie
Transformers (yes, it should count!)

The cache Akira and Ghost in the Shell used to hold for me is gone. I tried rewatching them and then turned them off.

My favourite cartoon series of all time is Robotech, and Mospeada (The New Generation) in particular. Too bad all subsequent attempts to recapture any Robotech glory have failed miserably, whether it be in movie or game form.

I watch old Lupin the 3rd reruns on DVD and know every line to the Transformers movie by heart. But as far as anything new... the newest stuff I've watched is like End of Evangelion (I know, not new at all), Rah-Xephon, and well, that's about it. Help me out.
Masters Masters - August 18, 2008 (09:54 AM)
Wait, I'm lying.

I've seen Ghost in the Shell 2: Innocence. Blah. It was tough to get through. And I checked out the lame Robotech Shadow Chronicles movie.

I think I'll ease myself back into the hobby with hentai. =D
EmP EmP - August 18, 2008 (09:57 AM)
Honneamise was very powerful stuff. It even had a very poignant ending.

Unlike Claymore.

EDIT: Innocence was awful. It was less an anime and more a chance for writers to flail their penises around yelling “look how many philosopher’s names I can throw around without demonstrating the slightest hint that I understand what they’re trying to say!" That had a great ending, but only because they suddenly realised the end of the film was near and they’d only had one action scene and no Major, so had to shoehorn it in quick.

Check out the Stand Alone Complex anime. Great stuff and a great PS2 game, to boot. Even Ruder loves that one.
Masters Masters - August 18, 2008 (10:22 AM)
I would check out SAC but I don't know where to start. There are multiple sessions and like five million DVD's in each... or something. Is the series finished? Can I safely begin collecting? Or is this thing going on forever, like Dragon Ball Z?
EmP EmP - August 18, 2008 (10:37 AM)
Two completed seasons. Stand Alone Complex and Stand Alone Complex: 2nd Gig.
espiga espiga - August 18, 2008 (12:42 PM)
Elfen Lied is a good gory anime with a great ending. My avatar on the forums is from there.
darketernal darketernal - August 18, 2008 (02:19 PM)
Which is why you keep to One Piece with good characters, story and so on and the characters that act dumb are almost all certified retards.

I disliked Elfen lied. It was just a bunch of nonsense filled into 26 episodes of gore. Heard the manga was better, but the anime as it is, was bad. To me at least.

And yeah, girls usually fit into three stereotypes in anime. The childhood crush that has some hidden holy power within and is usually a retard who is in love with the main character but shows it near the end and even then, vaguely. Then you have the ditzy tomboys and third the "badarses" which, usually like their male counterparts are the worst of the lot.

Genj Genj - August 18, 2008 (02:22 PM)
what the fuck? Grandia has an amazing ending. Justin & Feena made mini-mes!
EmP EmP - August 18, 2008 (04:54 PM)
Espiga: I watched Elfen Lied and enjoyed it a great deal. The ending was a cop-out, though. The obligatory “We’ll leave this wide open for a sequel in case it takes off big” so many series feel the need to employ. Promiscuous male lead, though.

DE: One Piece’ll probably never have an ending.

Genj; Now you’re just talking silly. Grandia has the worst ending of any videogame ever. Fact. A big black screen with FIN written on would be a million times preferable.
Genj Genj - August 18, 2008 (05:05 PM)
Of course I'm talking silly. There is no way anyone would serious love Grandia's ending. I love how the kids were even all dressed like Justin & Feena though. Fucking weirdo parents.
darketernal darketernal - August 21, 2008 (04:29 AM)
Why end a good thing? It's a never ending, fresh adventure that just keeps getting better and better.

As for Grandia, it rocks and while it's ending is questionable at best, the cast of characters and overall charm is enough to forgive it. Unlike Grandia II where there are like two likeable characters and the rest are gits. I have had the third part for a long time now...still didn't even try it. I fear it. Like a twenty feet tall clown, it seems like a creature from one's worst nightmares.
sashanan sashanan - August 24, 2008 (10:57 PM)
Maybe too many RPG endings have made me go numb. I didn't find Grandia's ending to be particularly noteworthy but it didn't bother me either.
dragoon_of_infinity dragoon_of_infinity - September 12, 2008 (03:09 PM)
Good RPG endings are pretty much nonexistant. The only anime in recent memory I can think of that actually had a good ending was Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann, which was overall one of the most fantastic anime in the last several years.

Just because I feel like pointing out an RPG example: Shadow Hearts 2.

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