Scant seconds before I started typing (using magically skilled fingers that seem to glide -- GLIDE -- over the awful regressed keyboard of this laptop) I received a phone call from a once-close friend who smugly told me that she was sitting, snug and warm, in a studio that I was asked to attend -- for money -- but turned down in order to play football. A glance outside isnít needed to gauge the weather; I can hear the rain trying its damnedest to break through the ceiling. Right now is one of those depressingly perfect moments when you realise youíve picked exactly the wrong choice. Iím already wet and cold, and, in an hour, I need to start playing though a torrential downpour that only England can properly produce (may not be as violent as some, but itís always effortlessly more miserable) on a god-awful Astroturf pitch that may as well be constructed entirely of Mach 3 razors, and officiated by the rejected rejects of the refereeing special classes who, by FA law, youíre not allowed to tell are as awful as they are.
I could do this, or I could listen to music Iíd probably hate and be paid for my time.
Actually, maybe this isnít so bad...
Whilst Iím in a footballing frame of mind, I present to you, my captured audience of three, the official urban slang for FIFA games:
|Most recent blog posts from Gary Hartley...|
|- - August 25, 2010 (01:44 PM)
Didn't you know? John O'Shea was my 12th man.
I look forward to having a rematch at some point with you, maybe on FIFA 11, just so I can get a hat-trick of Bobbleweasels to torment you further!
|zippdementia - August 25, 2010 (09:41 PM)
Wow. Congratulations. You made a post about FIFA that I actually read all the way through. Twice.
|zippdementia - August 25, 2010 (09:42 PM)
... although, you should be aware that this post upsets the delicate EmP balance. You are now at 6 parts anger, or at least 5 parts anger and 1 part rage.
|- - August 26, 2010 (05:04 AM)
Zipp, you should play EmP at FIFA. He's a very gracious loser. :)
|zippdementia - August 26, 2010 (08:33 AM)
He'd be a very gracious winner, if he played me.
|EmP - August 26, 2010 (09:18 AM)
I'm allowed to bitter when I lose 6-5 from a game I'm coasting until a trio of bobbleweasel goals snatched in the last ten minutes!
Thing is, that's why FIFA works so well; it mimicks that fact that anything can happen in football.
Come FIFA '11, we should form a league.