Rengoku II: The Stairway to H.E.A.V.E.N. (PSP) review"The premise behind Rengoku 2 is exactly the same as the original. It's a pointless game where a customizable robot fights arena battles against other robots until it reaches the top of a not-so-massive tower, thus ending the game." |
Innocent until proven guilty.
The foundation of our judicial system doesn't apply to video game reviewers. The wrong publisher, the wrong system, or even the wrong genre can spell death for a game's ratings — we've all seen the poor numbers that awesome brawlers like Chaos Legion score because they're just "mindless button mashers". Forget the unnerving storyline, forget the crisp audiovisuals, forget the deep and rewarding gameplay, forget the evidence — some games are critically condemned from the start.
Rengoku 2 is one of those games. For some unknown reason, most likely the devil's whim, Konami-owned Hudson actually decided to make a sequel to the universally-panned Rengoku, which was a pointless game where a customizable robot fought arena battles against other robots until it reached the top of a not-so-massive tower, thus ending the game.
Guess what? The premise behind Rengoku 2 is exactly the same. It's a pointless game where a customizable robot fights arena battles against other robots until it reaches the top of a not-so-massive tower, thus ending the game.
The review practically writes itself! There's no need to even waste time playing; just insult the original for a few paragraphs, then cap it off with a pithy "DITTO FOR THE SEQUEL".
That might be easy, but that doesn't mean it's right. I'd like to think we're all enlightened enough to judge a game by its content, not by its vomit-yellow cover (illustrated by Jun Suemi*). And, honestly, Rengoku 2 is surprisingly decent. Sometimes, when I'm caught up in the moment and forget how pointless it all is, the game even seems good.
So, let's forget the past. Let's forget that Rengoku: The Tower of Purgatory ever existed. Even if you're the kind of smartass who refuses to play along with my fantasy, you probably never played the first game, so you're still trapped in my optimistic little web. Ha ha ha!
* * * * *
In the far future, the world's nations created immortal androids to fight their battles. This was an incredibly dumb idea, because no one can ever "win" if all of the soldiers are immortal. Realizing the error of their ways, the world's leaders agreed to lock their faithful servants in a giant tower where they'd fight each other forever and ever. Meanwhile, the nations of Earth returned to their bloody, mortal ways.
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Staff review by Zigfried (November 02, 2006)
Zigfried likes writing about whales and angry seamen, and often does so at the local pub. |
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