Ads are gone. We're using Patreon to raise funds so we can grow. Please pledge support today!
Google+   Facebook button  Twitter button 
3DS | DS | PS3 | PS4 | PSP | VITA | WII | WIIU | X360 | XB1 | All
Mami Inoue: Kono Hoshi ni Tatta Hitori no Kimi (Turbografx-CD) artwork

Mami Inoue: Kono Hoshi ni Tatta Hitori no Kimi (Turbografx-CD) review


"As you play this Super CD that uses chip music (except for one excruciatingly long and badly-photoshopped karaoke sequence), you get to do such exciting things as LOOK, TALK, and THINK. On one of the scripted adventure paths, you get to listen to your class's entire roll call from top to bottom. Then you enjoy the excitement of looking at the clock over and over to advance the "story", because staring at the clock is the ONLY way to make time pass."



Hi, it's me, the spendthrift who wasted his money on PC Engine "gems" like Gambler Jikochuushinha (part 2) and Graduation Album (no relation to the popular Graduation series). I've returned from my adventures in the Japanese wild with yet another piece of early '90's nostalgia: Mami Inoue, subtitled "Kono Hoshi ni Tatta Hitori no Kimi". It's also subtitled "Je ne l'oublierai jamais, ma petite fille Mami" because the Japanese understand that games with foreign titles are DEEP and IMPORTANT. Von gut und bose!

Basically, Mami Inoue is a graphic adventure like Shadowgate, except that this one is fucking terrible and focuses primarily on ridiculous poses by then-idol Mami, whose popularity has long since faded. Like many horrible adventures, the game starts with our male hero waking up in bed, because a lot of Japanese designers have this crazy notion that exciting stories should start in the most boring way possible. On the plus side, you get to name your character! You're supposed to give him your own name, because this story is all about you living out some sick twisted fantasy where Mami Inoue is your platonic best friend. That's supposed to be a good thing, but Mami is one really boring girl.

"Oh that looks nice!"

"Oh I don't think that's a good idea."

"Oh wow!"

Pretend those are in Japanese and you've got a pretty good idea what her personality is like. But SHE'S A POP IDOL, so personality doesn't matter. Like it or not, you'll go to school and meet up with some schoolmates, one of whom is the moderately attractive Mami. You'll know that you're looking at Mami and not some random schoolgirl because...

ONE: Whenever you see Mami, the chimes of heaven ring.

TWO: She's represented by digitized photographic images. Everyone else is a crudely-drawn cartoon character.

So as you play this Super CD that uses chip music (except for one excruciatingly long and badly-photoshopped karaoke sequence), you get to do such exciting things as LOOK, TALK, and THINK. On one of the scripted adventure paths, you get to listen to your class's entire roll call from top to bottom. Then you enjoy the excitement of looking at the clock over and over to advance the "story", because staring at the clock is the ONLY way to make time pass. It's kind of like Shenmue, except that this one is fucking terrible.

Like most graphic adventures, Mami Inoue includes a bunch of puzzles. At one point, you find some misshapen dynamite (which looks more like a tube of toothpaste). When you reach a dead end in some underground tunnels, after you look and think and talk a few times, Mami suggests you use the dynamite. After talking a few more times, you agree... but can't light the dynamite. Fortunately, Mami gives you a lighter. What's she doing with a lighter? It's her father's, of course! Having the answers handed to me is not a gratifying feeling.

Another one of the shitty puzzles is a dark room. You saw something run into the room, but you can't see anything because it's dark. Most people would know how to handle this situation, but Hudson Soft thinks you're an idiot. This time, Mami's not much help. After a lot of thinking and talking and fruitlessly looking in the dark, you finally get the option to flip the fucking light switch. All so you can find some dumb fucking cat. Meanwhile, Mami stands there with a ridiculous space alien hairstyle that makes her look like she's got tentacles sprouting from her head.

"Oh wow now it's not dark!"

Once you've turned on the lights, you get to spend several turns staring at a white bedsheet, trying to figure out what's under it. Eventually, you get the option to actually lift the bedsheet, which reveals a basket. A FUCKING BASKET. When I spend twenty turns to uncover a hidden object, I want to find something cool like a battlemace or silver arrow (perfect for plunging into the chests of beautiful women).

About the only good thing going for Mami Inoue is its wacky unpredictability. For the first three playthroughs, you never know what's going to happen next -- maybe you'll join a detective club (solving the mystery earns you an absurd photo of Mami in tweed) or maybe you'll go back in time and lead Geisha Mami through feudal Japan on the back of a dinosaur. Yeah, that's the coolest part.

Or maybe that's really dumb, just like all the rest.

//Zig

Rating: 2/10

zigfried's avatar
Staff review by Zigfried (August 10, 2005)

Zigfried likes writing about whales and angry seamen, and often does so at the local pub.

More Reviews by Zigfried
One Chance (PC) artwork
One Chance (PC)

One Chance is a bad game for obvious reasons. The graphics are poor, the music is repetitive, the guy walks slowly, the story is silly, player interaction is minimal, and victory is achieved through repetition instead of mastery. Its claim to fame is that you only have one chance unless you game the syst...
Canabalt (PC) artwork
Canabalt (PC)

I view people who subscribe to the holy book of Canabalt the same way that Orson Scott Card intended readers to view Xenocide's Qing-Jao: as obsessive and deranged failures, compulsively tracing lines in wood until they realize they've accomplished nothing. Then they die.
Splatterhouse (PlayStation 3) artwork
Splatterhouse (PlayStation 3)

Once upon a time, all this blood and nudity would have been daring. I remember gasping in awe when playing the originals . . . of course, those were marketed towards pre-teens who couldn't even get into R-rated flicks. In today's world, hacking up misshapen beasts and grabbing softcore pics just isn't enough.

Feedback

If you enjoyed this Mami Inoue: Kono Hoshi ni Tatta Hitori no Kimi review, you're encouraged to discuss it with the author and with other members of the site's community. If you don't already have an HonestGamers account, you can sign up for one in a snap. Thank you for reading!

You must be signed into an HonestGamers user account to leave feedback on this review.

Site Policies & Ethics | Contact | Links

eXTReMe Tracker
© 1998-2014 HonestGamers
None of the material contained within this site may be reproduced in any conceivable fashion without permission from the author(s) of said material. This site is not sponsored or endorsed by Nintendo, Sega, Sony, Microsoft, or any other such party. Mami Inoue: Kono Hoshi ni Tatta Hitori no Kimi is a registered trademark of its copyright holder. This site makes no claim to Mami Inoue: Kono Hoshi ni Tatta Hitori no Kimi, its characters, screenshots, artwork, music, or any intellectual property contained within. Opinions expressed on this site do not necessarily represent the opinion of site staff or sponsors. Staff and freelance reviews are typically written based on time spent with a retail review copy or review key for the game that is provided by its publisher.