14 reviews
Reader NES
In an age when gaming is grappling against its own impending emasculation, the few, stoic Splinter Cells and Dead to Rightses will only stand for so long. For these brave soldiers of a hopeless war will only be able to support this…
sinner · May 14, 2004
Reader Arcade
Don't be duped. The 'net and its brood would have you believe Heroes of the Lance was the worst D&D game ever made. They think its stellar blend of unmanagable controls and inexplicable death meld for the greatest smiting the mighty D&D…
sinner · April 25, 2004
Reader Saturn
Fulfillment A lot changes in four years. After once again delaying the inevitable by defeating Dracula, Richter Belmont never resurfaces. Romania has rebuilt itself and has all but forgotten the man who had so recently staved their…
sinner · March 14, 2004
Reader SNES
Take Super Mario World. The same level aesthetic, the same goofy tree sprites, the weird ''Mushroom Kingdom'' look of it all. Apply a steamroller over the game at a 45 degree angle and call the result an ''isometric overhead perspective.''…
sinner · March 14, 2004
Reader SNES
Sit still. Breathe, blink a few times. Prepare for the most illuminating, hell-harbingering revelation the gaming world has ever seen. Prepare for the naked truth about the miserable Separation Anxiety: Acclaim has created the Love! Big…
sinner · March 14, 2004
Reader SNES
Final Fight was originally released with the benefit of being alone in the next generation (of its era, 16 Bit) beat 'em up field. It started to really suck to be Final Fight when Streets of Rage was released; Streets of Rage came along…
sinner · March 14, 2004
Reader SNES
If you take a child to an expensive restaurant, he'll stare vacantly at the menu. He'll skip past the forty dollar steaks slathered in twenty dollar mushroom sauce. He wants nothing to do with anything called ''parmigiana'' or…
sinner · March 14, 2004
Reader SNES
The stage: The Dread Pirate Shooterfan, after successfully delighting in the vast shooter libraries of the glorious Genesis and the timeless Turbo, chances upon the SNES... here he must face a battle of wits with the superhype machine…
sinner · March 14, 2004
Reader Sega CD
Mark my words: no game has been as thoroughly sodomized as Sega's AfterBurner. Think the Game Boy Advance is littered with horrid ports? How about the GBC with its laughable versions of otherwise successful games? You see, you know what…
sinner · March 14, 2004
Reader Saturn
Beyond life follows death, but for the most important of all dragon riders, beyond his death is his life, again. Death brings him his destiny, and death raises him from the commoner depths of labor and servitude to the forefront of the…
sinner · March 14, 2004
Reader PC
You click and click and click. At first, the story seems interesting because it feels just around the corner from some hot, lusty naked cartoon action. Oh yeah, you're just a few scrolls of text away from the throbbing thrillhammer, huh…
sinner · March 14, 2004
Reader NES Review of the Week
The name is worth a lot and you know it because it means something to you. You played it when you still had your youth, when you still loved birthday parties and still thought girls were gross. You loved Castlevania and it is as old as…
sinner · March 14, 2004
Reader Dreamcast
And so march the dead, yearning to be truly asleep, to escape their involuntary, macabre commitment to lifeless motion. They drone around, unsure of their actions or even of their existence. Their mouths hang from a lack of tissue vitality…
sinner · March 14, 2004
Reader Dreamcast
Virtua Fighter 3tb is not for everyone. A gamer that wants a fighting game to be easy will not be pleased with this game. Someone who desires endless strings of automatic, self-performing combos to flow effortlessly from the buttons' press…
sinner · March 14, 2004
