I'd post this at GameFAQs, but don't want to start a brawl. That and I don't feel like writing enough about them. Whatever.
10) Excitebike - yeah, it's fun, but it's also extremely short and extremely simple. Only 5 tracks? And three of those five you can get "first" the first time you race it! Sure, there's a level editor, but the game's just too simple to come up with any ingenious tracks.
9) Link to the Past - Easily the best game on this list, but easily the worst of the 20th century Zeldas. Best Zelda ever? A game with such a dinky overworld? A game with such boring level design and enemies? A GAME WHERE I FOUND EVERY PIECE OF HEART WITHOUT A PROBLEM??? Gyaah, come on people. Talk about a weak link (heehee, I'm so funny!)
8) Super Mario 64 - Perfect controls my patootie. Hey, it may have been the most amazing thing in 1996, but this is 2006 now. All that slipping and sliding and bad camera and awkward jumping just doesn't cut it. Sad thing is, it's still better than Mario Sunshine. But since that game's regularly panned and this one is held up as a shining example, this game makes the list.
7) Star Fox - I don't like playing at 5 frames per second. I find it hard to make out such simplistic 3D. A neat tech demo Nintendo. But Star Fox 64 was pretty much a remake of this game. So why bother playing the inferior version anymore?
6) Yoshi's Island - Too many chefs spoil the broth. Too many weird ideas spoil the platformer. There's a lot to like about this game, such as the LSD-laden enemies and the destructible level design. There's also a lot to hate, like the worthlessness of the fruits or the stupidity of Yoshi's transformations or the massive levels focused on collecting stuff. This is no Mario.
5) Donkey Kong Country - I guess super pretty computer generated graphics is all you need to make a platformer, because this game has nothing else. Take that out and it's generic to the extreme.
4) Metroid - Turn on NES. Enter password. Spend the next HOUR killing stupid enemies for (hopefully) 5 energy apiece to refill your life meter from 30 to 500 units. There's plenty of other things wrong with this game, but that one's a killer right there. Such a wonderful concept, but we had to wait for Super Metroid to actual create a wonderful game around that concept. Yay for Metroid Zero Mission (even if that game has its issues too).
3) Star Tropics - How on Earth can we mess up WALKING?!?!? Jeez Nintendo, all you had to do was rip off Zelda, but you couldn't do that? And perhaps I'm just being a spoilsport, but blindly jumping into the sea in hopes of landing on a tile is not my idea of a well designed puzzle. And yet people claim this is a forgotten gem. All the yoyo-weilding heroes in the world couldn't make this game worth playing.
2) Kid Icarus - Just because Nintendo forgot a franchise for 20 years doesn't mean it's any good. This feels like a first gen game, with even worse programming than Metroid. Have these people clamoring for a sequel actually tried playing the game for more than 5 minutes? It's gut wrenching! I've actually seen people lament the fact that R&D4 (Miyamato's group) gained so much prominence at the expense of R&D1 (the folks behind Icarus and Metroid). Gee, maybe it had something to do with the fact that Mario and Zelda were polished, complete games? Good riddance, I say.
1) Wind Waker - Yeah, I hate this game.
Huh, that's heavily loaded with NES/SNES games. Ah, the rose-colored glasses of nostalgia. What that will do to people's opinions of classic games...
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honestgamer - June 04, 2006 (03:11 PM) A Kid Icarus follow-up could be absolutely awesome, and I won't be surprised when it finally happens for that very reason. Will the Wii be the system that makes it happen? Wii shall see! |
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