About Me: Sorry, but I haven't yet shared the information about myself that would typically display here. Check back later to see if that changes, or if I instead choose to remain an enigma.

Arsis - United in Regret: Not a whole lot of improvement or advancement from their two previous albums. Then again, they perfected their hard-edged sound early on. Full of lovely semi-melodic tracks such as "Lust Before the Maggots Conquest". - 8/10

Funeral - From These Wounds: Most of Funeral's original lineup is now deceased or despoiling greener pastures. For their latest effort, some female vocalists have been brought in; as a result it sounds a lot more like Evanescence than anything else. Certainly light years away from their early 90s sound. Only a handful of decent material. - 5/10

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Finally finished my MOTO review, which was just another project, among many, involving ninjas either literally or metaphorically. I still can't figure out how to focus and stick to a writing regimen, or stop thinking about ninjas. Oh well, at least it got finished, unlike the expansive MGS2 review -- three years in the making -- still sitting in "My Documents"...

In other news, my awesome boss has been sacked and replaced with a crazy androgynous number-cruncher from our Pearl City store. She's driving me insane and in turn I'm taking 10 times as many smoke breaks as I used to. God damn it.

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Never fear, dear reader(s), I always come back after a while. Real life took priority over gaming (and reviewing by extension), so no, this time was not spent simply writing a Steven Seagal spec script.

Santa Claus gave me an XBox 360 last December. An honest-to-Christ Christmas miracle! I have been indulging in and beating some of the finest the system has to offer:

Dead Rising
Burnout Revenge
Call of Duty 2
" " " 3
Splinter Cell: Double Agent
Dead or Alive 4
Gears of War (orgasmic!)
Civil War: A Nation Divided (execrable!)

Which of the above should I review first?

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My job attracts its fair share of meth addicts, ex-cons, what have you. We care so much about customer service we will hire indiscriminately.

One of these people was a man named Herbert, or as he called himself, "Herbie". A quiet, vaguely turtle-looking man, he kept to himself when he wasn't talking about Disney movies or how Batman had no actual ninja training. He was a Mormon who went to BYU on the north shore of Oahu in the fine state of Hawaii. Sometimes he'd try to convert people or pass out free Books of Mormon to anyone who'd lend him an ear. He didn't do too well.

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I've had to deal with a lot of assholes today. First in the administration offices at school, then at work, and on the bus. Long story short, I've gotta pay for school out of pocket, I'm going to quit this fucking job within the next couple of days, and my March bus pass isn't valid without going through some Byzantine validation process.

At least I got a nice surprise when I got home. I couldn't think of a better reason to get stoned.

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There's a motley crew working at GameStop. When I walked in, empty handed, I was asked no less than three times by as many people whether I had anything to trade in. I was going to pull the copy of Divine Sealing I keep in my ass for occasions like these, but I decided against it.

The first person was your garden variety hipster but his hairstyle was uniquely retarded - all the hair in front was amalgamated into a kind of inverted triangle shape over his forehead. Then the rest of his hair was slicked back with what had to be axle grease. It kind of looked like he was wearing some kind of helmet.

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At last I've found the nerdiest metal that isn't Nightwish.

Bal-Sagoth has it all: corny keyboard riffs straight out of a SNES game; dark, brooding voiceovers of Tolkien-lite epic proclamations (you'll see); mad guitar crunching; schizo vocals which alternate between snarling screeches and booming computer-assisted profundo bass.

Oh yeah, I would have written the full title of this track at the bottom but it DOESN'T FIT. It will scroll at the bottom (which takes about two minutes)

They barely surpass Dragonforce in sheer dorkiness, but Dragonforce has wicked awesome guitar players.

Find it here, bitches.

Manly Firefox users can save mp3 through Page Info and all that shite.

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