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You Have to Win the Game (PC) artwork

You Have to Win the Game (PC) review


"Oh, have I now? What if I choose not to win?"

You Have to Win the Game (PC) image

Since opening a Steam account, I've run into a several titles that form an oddly specific category: "short platformers you pick up and can't put down." Typically, you start one of these titles just to check it out, thinking maybe you'll kill twenty minutes and then move onto another game. You pass through a few campaign beats, and the next thing you know you're committed to finishing the affair. Somehow, its simplicity, strong difficulty rating, and intuitive design hook you in for the not-so-long haul.

VVVVVV and The Adventures of Elena Temple pop up on this slim list, as well as the freeware faux-retro adventure You Have to Win the Game. This one apes old computer platformers, sporting a presentation similar to a Commodore 64 release (in fact, this app was even specially ported to C64 after its initial PC run), featuring a bright, yet limited color palette. Its mechanics are simple: you explore a non-linear world, collect money bags, and attempt to find your way through a maze of rooms and obstacle courses.

Just about every screen is a challenge in itself, pitting you against either standard platformer fare or tough situations that require a little bit of careful movement, precision, or problem solving to survive. For instance, one chamber pits you against fast-moving orbs that instantly kill you if you touch them. You must figure out how to get past a slew of them that fly back and forth horizontally first, only to drop down and deal with three vertically zooming balls, not to mention a single dangerously positioned spike in the middle of them. Both of these gauntlets require observation and experimentation, as well as timing and precise landing on your part.

You Have to Win the Game (PC) image

As with any modern addictive 2D platformer, you get infinite lives. And believe me, you'll need them. You'll die numerous times in mere minutes in just the aforementioned segment alone. Adding a limited set of lives to the bargain would all but ensure you never even venture close to the finish line. Still, this package comes with a perma-death setting that forces you to go through the whole shebang with just one attempt, not to mention a "cat mode" that only gives you nine lives to survive the ordeal.

To absolutely no one's surprise, Win the Game also borrows a bit from Metroid--because that's what everyone does these days. Hell, why not? Metroid is an influential piece that captivated at least two generations. Here, you must hunt for crystal balls that bestow unto you different abilities. The first couple pretty much act as switches, changing square outlines into blocks that serve as platforms. The last two abilities hark back to another super tough platformer: Super Meat Boy. Nabbing these also adds double-jump and wall sliding functions that allow you to explore vast portions of the map you initially thought inaccessible.

That's the lovely thing about this offering: you're free to explore and search to your heart's content, and new abilities only facilitate further expeditions into the unknown. The campaign doesn't guide you around and tell you where to go, but leaves you to your devices. Though it only lasts about two hours, developer Pirate Hearts somehow crammed a lot of real estate to check out in short order. It's impressive how compact and yet expansive the map proves to be, providing a lot of hidden corners that require you to scale walls or pay attention to minor details like small openings that lead to secret compartments.

You Have to Win the Game (PC) image

Even though this adventure remains a combat-free ride, you run afoul of bosses occasionally. Here, though, your objective isn't to bump them off so much as survive their onslaught. Each one shoots a continuous stream of projectiles, and you need to find a way through them by either timing your hops or utilizing the environment to your advantage. For instance, in one room you try to sneak past a giant crab who fires shots upward from the middle of the floor. Platforms stand on either side, plus one that moseys back and forth. You can use that one to provide coverage from the assault while also finding a way over the creature. Unfortunately, even if you get past this crustacean, you still need to worry about bullets that rain down on either side, testing your reflexes.

You might also notice some writing on the wall throughout your travels. Once again, Win the Game calls back to old adventure titles by offering a riddle you need to solve. This more than anything prompts you to explore, searching for clues to help you ultimately "win the game."

I'll be honest: I didn't solve the puzzle on my own because even with all the hints, the puzzle didn't make much sense. There is a guide on Steam that explains how the pieces fit together, and I will say it's at least better than the nonsense we had to endure with Simon's Quest or 8 Eyes. At least here I can actually see a smart player figuring it out on their own. Even still, the intel you receive is more vague than it should be.

You Have to Win the Game (PC) image

The final slew of areas see you getting though seemingly impossible odds. You cling to vertical platforms that fly to and fro over spikes, or climb a wall that sticks out ever so gently and is intermittently lined with spikes. The hairiest, however, is a boss room called "Hardcore Prawn," where four giant shrimp-like beasts fire shots all over the place. During my own playthrough, I think this was the room that killed me the most. Eventually, you reach the conclusion and the game demands you solve its riddle. As I said before, it can be tough to figure out, but the solution will leave you rolling your eyes and saying, "Of course..."

Ultimately, Win the Game is a worthwhile experience that provides a stiff, challenging trip. The cool thing is after you've completed its main mode, there's a "remix" campaign called "Extra Spicy" on offer that rearranges some of the rooms and decks out even more of them with spikes, practically to the point of cheapness. The bottom line is you get a lot of bang for no bucks at all.



JoeTheDestroyer's avatar
Staff review by Joseph Shaffer (April 01, 2022)

Rumor has it that Joe is not actually a man, but a machine that likes video games, horror movies, and long walks on the beach. His/Its first contribution to HonestGamers was a review of Breath of Fire III.

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