What? ANOTHER Bioshock review?!
June 30, 2009

First off, this review is dedicated to Suskie, who has to endure seeing his un-editable and positive review of Bioshock sit on the site for the rest of eternity while he gnashes his teeth and pulls his hair in frustration that he didn't deliver the full breadth of his dislike of the game.

It's okay. I've been there, too.

Now, I know that writing a Bioshock review is like hiring the village whore... it's not all that far fetched. The fact that it's a bash only turns the whoring into fisting or something.

I've taken that metaphor about as far as it will go.

Suffice it to say, I know there are those of you who would rather have their eyes put out than have to read another word about Bioshock. I still urge you to give my review at least a glance over, I did spend three bloody weeks crafting it and figuring out exactly what I wanted to say.

But, just in case that goes against your religion or something, I've also provided an alternate review for you to read.

Just remember, if during the course of reading said review, you feel something wet splatter your chest, don't worry... that's just sarcasm.

Most recent blog posts from Jonathan Stark...

jerec jerec - June 30, 2009 (05:45 PM)
I'm not reading another BioShock review unless you force me into it. But you do that at your own risk. :P
zigfried zigfried - June 30, 2009 (05:54 PM)
That sounds like a challenge!

zippdementia zippdementia - June 30, 2009 (05:59 PM)
The chances of me submitting this for the TT are slim, simply because I know judges are biased against it.
bluberry bluberry - June 30, 2009 (07:23 PM)
yeah, your BioShock review is factually incorrect by 4 points. I'm ashamed of you.

join the "too dumb for BioFuck" movement!
zippdementia zippdementia - July 01, 2009 (10:44 AM)
Which four points would those be?
bluberry bluberry - July 02, 2009 (12:28 AM)
it's really a 2/10.

nah I'm not too wild about the game either, I gave it a 6/10 too. it's not bad, it's just... yeah.
zippdementia zippdementia - July 02, 2009 (02:47 AM)
Yeah, it's not as bad as say, Syberia or Tokyo Beat Down. It's just way over hyped for what it is, which is a functional, but not spectacular, FPS.

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