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Review Archives (All Reviews)

You are currently looking through all reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by EmP and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
The Mark (PC)

The Mark review (PC)

Reviewed on March 04, 2007

Not that the terrorists will use cover much; they much prefer to stand in the open beneath big neon arrows adorned with “Shoot Me!” in flashing electric pink. And so, you shoot them, as peace-keepers are wont to do, either mowing them down with Fletcher’s assault-rifle or blasting them with Hawke’s shotgun and watching them tumble bonelessly to the floor.
Deus Ex: The Conspiracy (PlayStation 2)

Deus Ex: The Conspiracy review (PS2)

Reviewed on March 02, 2007

Peace is not easily kept in the world that Deus Ex presents. The police are as corrupt as the senators assigned to oversee them and the only thing that talks on the streets is the harsh retort of a loaded firearm. The NSF, an antiestablishment terrorist organisation, grows bolder by the day, sabotaging civil buildings and landmarks, attempting to dispel the positive dogma spun by the governing power and underwrite their authority. Ruthless and destructive, their ever-swelling ranks encompass a stirring unrest in the lower order, one quickly camouflaged from the world with a sturdy veneer of propaganda. They are to be dealt with.
Sam & Max Episode 4 - Abe Lincoln Must Die (PC)

Sam & Max Episode 4 - Abe Lincoln Must Die review (PC)

Reviewed on February 26, 2007

If the question was “did Taletale listen?” the answer offered by Abe Lincoln Must Die is “as much as they could".
UFO: Afterlight (PC)

UFO: Afterlight review (PC)

Reviewed on February 22, 2007

For a solid attempt and otherworldly genocide, things worked out great.
Agatha Christie: Murder on the Orient Express (PC)

Agatha Christie: Murder on the Orient Express review (PC)

Reviewed on February 15, 2007

There's a lot the game does right to endure itself to pre-existing fans of the genre, but it doesn't contain nearly enough correctly or differently to endear it to a new audience or indeed help it stand out amongst the crowd.
Dreamfall: The Longest Journey (Xbox)

Dreamfall: The Longest Journey review (XBX)

Reviewed on February 08, 2007

Welcome to Dreamfall: The Longest Journey. Welcome to a world that you will never want to forget.
Sam & Max Episode 3 - The Mole, The Mob and the Meatball (PC)

Sam & Max Episode 3 - The Mole, The Mob and the Meatball review (PC)

Reviewed on January 27, 2007

Because although the comedic script is sharper than ever in this episode, Sam & Max Episode 3: The Mole, The Mob and The Meatball suffers a few problems.
Eragon (Xbox 360)

Eragon review (X360)

Reviewed on December 28, 2006

Even before you take to the air to take part in clumsy dogfights that put you in a continuous loop of see-off-foes-munch-respawning-health-up-see-off-respawned-foes (repeat until your sanity cracks or your thrown pad cracks your TV), young Eragon will need to slog through the basic hack-and-slash meat of the game that offers very little in the way of inventivity or even competence.
Sam & Max Episode 2 - Situation: Comedy (PC)

Sam & Max Episode 2 - Situation: Comedy review (PC)

Reviewed on December 23, 2006

Wherever they spew their spontaneous insanity, they do so comfortably in the knowledge that everything around them works. Sam's laid-back noir voice narrates proceedings with a smooth, practised hands while Max overwrites sense with deranged threats and suggestions. Trying to share an innocent anecdote about the pair's adventures starts our furry chum off on a tale of bludgeoning purse-snatchers with broken parking meters while screaming "DIE! Why won't you die?!," with a nodding Sam looking on approvingly.
Gears of War (Xbox 360)

Gears of War review (X360)

Reviewed on December 08, 2006

You'll be surprised how much you can do with so little buttons. Take control of Marcus Fenix, and marvel at how easy it is to throw him around the battlefield. Within minutes, you'll have him hurling himself behind cover, popping around the sides to take shots at any available targets and even reaching over his protective barrier to fire blindly at any foe foolish enough to charge him. You'll have him diving from one safe haven to the next, sniping around corners to bull-rush unprepared Locust and hurling spike-encrusted sling-shot-inspired grenades right down their scaly little throats.
Master of Weapon (Genesis)

Master of Weapon review (GEN)

Reviewed on December 03, 2006

If that didn't make things easy enough, then reveal in the hailstorm of power-ups that drip from the screen every time you manage to shoot down one of the many lime-green penile-shaped ships that explode upon the merest of bullet grazes. These power-ups will literally outnumber enemy projectiles and offer you the substandard upgrades such as making your standard laser suddenly fire in double or triple spread shots.
Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic (Xbox)

Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic review (XBX)

Reviewed on November 30, 2006

A lesson in morality. Plus lightsabers.
Blitzkrieg 2: Fall of the Reich (PC)

Blitzkrieg 2: Fall of the Reich review (PC)

Reviewed on November 12, 2006

Unlike most of the other WWII RTS's that cry for attention inside the overcrowded genre, this seems to be the focus of Blitzkreig II: Fall of the Reich. The emphasis is no so much on the clever deployment of troops and armour as it is in gathering a sizeable collection of tanks and steamrollering over everything as quick as you can.
Conflict: Desert Storm II - Back to Baghdad (PlayStation 2)

Conflict: Desert Storm II - Back to Baghdad review (PS2)

Reviewed on November 08, 2006

Shoot them in the leg and watch the blood well up in the affected joint and a supporting hand cover the wound; chuck a grenade at them and watch as they panic and flee; waste a flare gun round on one, and watch him flail about on fire before smouldering into an ashen heap at your feet. You could almost feel sorry for them.
Sam & Max Episode 1 - Culture Shock (PC)

Sam & Max Episode 1 - Culture Shock review (PC)

Reviewed on October 28, 2006

Your enjoyment of Sam & Max: Culture Shock will depend on why you play adventure games: if you play for the genre staple of awesome plots and comic-like personation, this will not bother you. Flying through the puzzles within will simply allow you to progress more quickly for the fantastically insane plot and keep the new sight gags and witty on-liners flowing freely. But should you play for a sense of achievement, of working out one's brain by undoing some devious tasks, you may find yourself disappointed in the offerings here.
Gothic 3 (PC)

Gothic 3 review (PC)

Reviewed on October 17, 2006

Bigger. Badder. Not quite as buggy.
Pippa Funnell: Stable Adventure (Game Boy Advance)

Pippa Funnell: Stable Adventure review (GBA)

Reviewed on October 09, 2006

You'll jump a lot of gates in Pippa Funnell: Stable Adventures.
Amped 3 (Xbox 360)

Amped 3 review (X360)

Reviewed on September 30, 2006

You'll also find yourself hired by a Canadian sock-puppet to hunt down a yeti. After being filled in by your odd employer (who uses a sock puppet of his very own to characterise the yeti!) you'll have to chase the abominable snowman down a particularly treacherous slope, outscoring him as he pulls mad tricks on his own snowboard to secure his capture. He'll backflip off an icy ramp and land precariously on a rail which he'll grind down, popping off stunts as he goes. Do the same or be shown up by the missing link!
Bone: The Great Cow Race (PC)

Bone: The Great Cow Race review (PC)

Reviewed on September 28, 2006

A lot of notice was taken of Boneville's shortcomings and fixed up in this outing; while both games drip with a vibrant and goofy charm that will appeal to audiences young and old, the more sinister undertones that Jeff Smith's comics were so loved for have been allowed to further develop in this episode.
Bone: Out from Boneville (PC)

Bone: Out from Boneville review (PC)

Reviewed on September 07, 2006

The comic's appeal was widespread, and, to a point, so is the game. The younger audience will enjoy the goofy characters, the vibrant colours and cartoony graphics whilst older players will enjoy that everything is just a little bit more complex then it seems. Behind the childish presentation lays a strong collection of characters that are a joy to interact with. From the sleepy-eyed Red Dragoon who takes a minimalistic approach to helping the cousins on their way to the triplet of playful possums that bicker for Fone's attention and take an immediate dislike to Phoney, there's an energetic world to explore. But before you can get lost in it, it's over.

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