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Saints Row 2: Ultor Exposed review

Game: Saints Row 2: Ultor Exposed
Platform: Xbox 360
Genre: Action (Contemporary)
Developer: Volition

Reader review by JoeTheDestroyer

December 05, 2011

Saints Row 2: Ultor Exposed adds an impressive array of bonus goodies. Cruising down the freeway with an EDF humvee straight out of Red Faction: Guerrilla, blasting suckas on new multiplayer maps, and rocking a balding mullet are moments that could sweeten a DLC deal. Perhaps even plowing over slow pedestrians with the new performance vehicle Temptress, or taking to the skies with new assault aircrafts. These are great extras, but a sound investment requires meatier content.

In other words, engrossing missions...

Oops.

Ultor Exposed crams a lot of potential greatness in its small package, yet forgets the most important element. Even the presence of pornstar Tera Patrick doesn't save the painfully generic and tame--the last word you would ever want to associate with a Saints Row experience--missions. All three of them.

While uncovering corpses and sending them to the local news station is great for a morbid chuckle, the mission that details these events is little more than a go-fer quest. Go here, kill guards, walk to checkpoint. Go there, do the same thing. Go to another place, do the same thing. I expect a mission like this in the early rounds of an older GTA clone, but not from a newer budding franchise that has distanced itself from such stale mission design.

You'll take to the streets next, overthrowing and eventually defending a truck in a rail shooter mission. It's a near replica of similar scenario in the main game, only with a machine gun. Adequate and features a lot of explosions, but definitely not download-worthy.

After battling a legion of soldiers, you'll take on a swarm of helicopters on foot. Even if you've stocked up on rockets, dodging homing missiles is no walk in the park. It will punish you and laugh at your burning cadaver, and it'll make you swear and maybe toss your controller. You might even exclaim how this crap isn't possible, and that there's no way in hell an inner city punk can take down a whole swarm of copters. Yet somehow that jaw-breaking challenge is refreshing after undergoing such dull adventures before it.

Persevere and you'll eventually win, and the pay off? A lame cutscene that establishes nothing, adds nothing new to the canon, and draws two words from your lips:

THAT'S IT?

Congratulations. You've just invested $10 in an hour's worth of missions and superficial additions. Think about that now: that's half the current list price for Saints Row 2, and you can even find the game for $10 used in some places. You just paid 50-100% the price of Saints Row 2 for DLC that's maybe 1/18 the size, with play time is about 1/40 of the main game. Maybe I'm over-thinking this, but wouldn't it be a much wiser investment to cruise the bargain bin and find an older piece you missed out on?

Judgment on a game usually shouldn't come down to a money issue, but that's only part of what it is. The dull missions and stunning extras are not worth the price, but even a discount won't mask the missions' flaws. They're terribly unexciting, and that's not something you would want in any expansion pack at any cost.

Rating: 4/10

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