Epic Dungeon (Xbox 360) review "Rogue done right"

My mother once asked me:

“Joey, what do you want to be when you grow up?”

My father's booming godlike voice still echoed in my head for hours after he told me to stop being a little smart ass and to spend the rest of the night in my room. I knew from that exchange that my parents were not going to cultivate my dreams of being a badass berserker with a huge sexy beard redder than the fires of hell. Apparently, my desire to search bottomless dungeons and battle horrific hordes of foul and fantastical beasts was "unrealistic." I reluctantly accepted a future behind a boring mahogany desk buried beneath papers and the presentiment of a mid-life crisis.

That is until Xbox Live Indie offered Epic Dungeon for the insane price of $1. With its dungeon-crawling greatness, fittingly antiquated graphics and simple, addictive mechanics, Epic Dungeon recalled my abandoned chimeras and helped to understand that there is a fire-bearded badass inside me.

Maybe. I mean, I die a lot in this game, so I'm probably more of a "moderateass."

Upon beginning, I selected the berserker. While the other selections--the magical shaman, dexterous tinkerer and the lucky gambler--seemed appealing, they weren't really geared toward crushing enemies' skulls with heavy clubs while taking long pulls from a flagon full of enemy blood. I craved melee combat, and fighting prowess was something berserkers paid in spaids.

Entry into the dank halls stirred my sense of nostalgia. Something about the way it moved and played reminded me of the '80s and smacked of ASCII terminals. The way each level was set up with rooms and hidden hallways leading to further rooms and secrets... It was Rogue reincarnated, only I wasn't playing as a symbol or keyboard character. Nor was I taking the time to scroll through commands and keep track of my hunger level, or even worrying about whether or not my game would be winnable. Yeah, some versions of Rogue hit you with randomly generated "unwinnable" scenarios. Epic Dungeon cut the more complicated aspects of its inspiration and went straight for the throat with a simple menu- and command-free battle system and a greater sense of fairness. At no point did it generate a floor without an exit.

What it did create, though, was numerous hordes of classic RPG enemies, from rats to wyverns.

And man, did those suckers rip and tear at me, but not for long. I'd swing my sword in a fit of rage and watch them explode into glorious 8-bit gore. As I advanced, things got worse: claws grew bigger, bites became nastier and the foes had fleas that got under my armor. But I stood resolute and the end result was a veritable swimming pool of blood and a level up, complete with stat and skill points for me to allocate.

All I needed to do to achieve this was press on the D-pad and walk against the cloud of vermin. Combat was a bit like Hydlide, except not boring. The body count rose fast, and at no point did I find myself waiting long periods for my health to refill.

Before long, witches straight from a Halloween store came after me, as well as vampires, giants with gnarled beards, hungry sand worms and animated skeletons. Even when I vanquished one swarm, another would be lingering around a corner or behind a door. I fought in a blinding haze and cut loose a death howl that may have caused the neighbors to call animal control. Still, the beasts came, brought me down and gave me my first "game over."

That was level 17. The final stage is 50. I thought that I could reload from a save point or respawn, but my first berserker's career was over and he was on a one-way trip to Valhalla. As with the previously mentioned old school RPG, perma-death awaits those who fail.

I felt that red hot sting on the side of my face. It was a slap, an insult placed and a challenge issued. Oh, it's on. No indie dungeon is going to dash my dreams of berserkerdom.

After watching a few more berserkers go to the grave, I began to form a plan. As it turns out, these halls were unforgiving to those who don't use their brain. If you build a bare bones character thinking this is just another dumb hack 'n slash, you will perish. I took the time to consider my character's needs, pamper him, distributed his stats in just the way that would ensure survival. I allowed him to play anytime I saw the ? on the screen that described a new humor-laden text-based situation and usually ends in rewards. For instance, if you play cards with orcs, you just might leave with a new ring. Or hell, cut off one of your toes for an old witch and she'll give you a useful potion. I even found a hot spring that gave a permanent stat boost. Sometimes the only risk is not having taken one.

I bolster statistics appropriately, did my grinding as needed and beefed up the right skills. My new berserker's career soared. I nearly perished several times, but not without putting up a damn good fight each time. Perils waited around every corner and doubled and tripled as I went deeper. Blades stuck out of the walls, poison pits exuded green ooze, spikes shot up from holes in the floor... My health kept failing, my opponents kept multiplying, my chances kept looking grimmer...

But still I made it to level 50 and found that precious exit, and there I gained victory and a single-screen ending. It only took three hours to find it, but I was ready for more. The addictive and fast-paced combat system and simplified RPG elements gave constant gratification and whiled the hours--all three of them--away like no other. With four classes to choose from, replay value wasn't a matter of unlocking new junk or having access to fresh modes of play. Just going back through the game itself was well enough.

Epic Dungeon carries the Rogue flag proudly. It does what any update should do in simplifying and quickening mechanics, all while retaining proper retro element. It doesn't stomp on the toes of older Rogue fans by trying to act like its much more than it is. It's an indie title that just wants to emphasize the most important aspect of gaming: having fun. For $1, who could argue with that?

Community review by JoeTheDestroyer (March 24, 2011) Rumor has it that Joe is not actually a man, but a machine that likes video games, horror movies, and long walks on the beach. His/Its first contribution to HonestGamers was a review of Breath of Fire III.