Worms (PlayStation 3) review "Of all the games I’ve played for the PS One, Hogs Of War was quite possibly the most entertaining. It didn’t have phenomenal graphics, a powerful story or a brilliant soundtrack. But it had charm, unique characters and hilarious one-liners for nearly every pig. I thought it would have been loved by many. Sadly, most called it a knock-off, claiming that Worms was the original version, and far superior in nearly every aspect. When it finally came to the Playstation network, I snagged..."

Of all the games I’ve played for the PS One, Hogs Of War was quite possibly the most entertaining. It didn’t have phenomenal graphics, a powerful story or a brilliant soundtrack. But it had charm, unique characters and hilarious one-liners for nearly every pig. I thought it would have been loved by many. Sadly, most called it a knock-off, claiming that Worms was the original version, and far superior in nearly every aspect. When it finally came to the Playstation network, I snagged it—mainly because I buy into everything I read. I thought Hogs was awesome. I was about to play its predecessor. The original, definitive version baby! I’m going to be addicted to this for months, right?

Right?

Sadly, no. Worms has style, and heart, don’t get me wrong but there’s noting really solid in the game play department. Basically, it’s Battle Tanks with a vast array of weapons and little pink blobs with eyeballs that serve as your soldiers. Ten total adorn the field—five on your side, five on the enemy’s. Once the battle starts, you have the option of moving and attacking with only one worm at a time before the game puts control into the hands of the opposing team. And while they work their way around, lining up bazooka shots or hurling grenades you have no option of moving your worms, or counterattacking. You simply stand there praying that whatever’s being aimed at you misses.

But prayers don’t always work, so it’s better to go in with a strategy. Using weapons that will leave you a safe distance away like a cluster grenade or an air raid is a good option, as opposed to using melee combat like the fire punch (which flings worms high into the air, while the attacker screams out “Hadouken”) or laying down a stick of dynamite at a soldier’s feet…er, tail.

Yeah, it does some massive damage but if you’re anywhere near it you’re going to be blown into little pink bits as well.* Which usually happens, because it’s almost impossible to crawl away in time.

And that was one of my biggest complaints about Worms: it’s slow. Most times it’s almost too casual. As opposed to Hogs, Worms takes place on a 2-D environment, and while the backgrounds and lands are rendered beautifully (they’ve obviously smoothed them for the upgrade to the PSN), you spend what little time you have slinking along at a snail’s pace, jumping over massive obstacles—or rather, attempting as you never really make it. It’s simply crawling along the multi-level jagged rocks, or uneven beaches then hoping you can situate yourself with enough time to fire off a shot before it’s the other team’s turn. Many I missed because they were done so out of panic.

It’s a strategy game, so I was lenient and patient, but there’s no real driving factor behind it. Worms doesn’t have a story mode of any kind. It’s simply one war after the next, with enemies increasing in difficulty. Once you’ve finished all the challenges with one group, you move onto a different one and start the same thing all over. I never got to know my worms as I did in Hogs. There, each one had a name and a personality. I liked them. I cared little for my worms, and gladly sacrificed any one of them to further my ambitions for…winning, nothing less. I had no desire to see everyone come home safely. I didn’t get to promote them, build them up from a grunt to a spy or demolition expert because the option isn’t there. There’s no way to improve their levels or earn more HP—aside from grabbing a medical pack that’s randomly dropped. There’s really no incentive for playing, or at least to continue playing.

Yes, I can see the draw for someone who’s in search of something entirely laid-back. The weapons that Worms supplies are incredibly unique. You do have those prototypical of a war game like bazookas, grenades, and flame-throwers—all of which are easy enough to use. You simply target, choose the arc, then determine the power by holding down one button. But you also have the fun, obscure weapons like The Holy Hand Grenade that blows…well, the holy hell out of everything (and amusingly, “Hallelujah” chimes out once the weapon finds a target). There’s the Super Sheep that’s held high above a worm’s head. When it’s launched, it scurries about in search of a target. If it finds one, it proceeds to unleash Matrix-like marital arts on its victim.

Sometimes the worms do have entertaining antics or one-liners. Inadvertently blast one on your team and he screams out “Traitor”. When you equip the Fire Punch, your worm’s face grows intense, and he wraps a red head band on, looking like a pink, fluffy Rambo. When one dies, he stares straight into the camera—looking as forlorn as possible—pulls out a detonator and blows himself up. Though nothing was as amusing as the sheep racing about, flailing each and every limb while his head bobbed about in search of a target.

Classic.

And for anyone in search of a simple game with no real reward or ultimate goal it works—very well. But for some—like me—a little depth is required. A story mode perhaps, unlockable content or the ability to level-up your worms. Some sort of incentive at least. Quicken it up a bit, so that my time is spent fighting and strategizing as opposed to simply moving about. For those reasons, I have to say that any who claimed Worms as the definitive title were mistaken. Sorely, truly mistaken.

* - Not meant to be taken literally. Your worms do not actually blow up into tiny pink pieces. Simply explode into a puff of smoke, leaving behind a uniquely designed tombstone.

Community review by True (August 08, 2010) A bio for this contributor is currently unavailable, but check back soon to see if that changes. If you are the author of this review, you can update your bio from the Settings page.