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Get to tha Choppa!!1 (Xbox 360) review

"Get to tha Choppa is a shallow point-rush game with the depth and cosmetic values of a simple flash game."

There’s an unspoken law in reviewing that each piece needs to be over X number of words to gain creditability. It’s understandable for the most part; I doubt I’d be able to impress my disappointment or elation in numerous titles with only a handfull of lines, but, sometimes, it’s a hindrance. Sometimes, I’m stuck fooling the reader with a roundabout introduction designed for no other reason than to pad for length. Hey, it’s not my fault you’d dismiss this review as unreliable if I was to simply say Get to tha Choppa is a shallow point-rush game with the depth and cosmetic values of a simple flash game, slap a 3/10 on it, and call it a day.

More fool you. Prepare for more words.

Get to tha Choppa has precious little to do with Arnie pre-politics and more to do with the zombie apocalypse, timed button presses and a sadistic helicopter pilot. Backdropped to an odd techno song about someone’s proficiency in a ring, you control a faceless unfortunate chased rather swiftly by hordes of flesh-eating zombies. Your salvation? The helicopter keeping perfect pace with you. The problem? The pilot is clearly enjoying your plight a bit more than he should.

This means your chance of salvation is zero and, instead, allows you to switch focus from surviving to grabbing up as many points as you can before you fall. Your futile dash aimed to prolong your life is hindered by three main obstacles: arbitrary landmines you need to leap over, zombies running right at you that you need to gun down, and the odd missile the ‘copter pilot will fire at you (he wants you to think it’s at the sprinting horde on your heels -- don’t let him fool you!) that you’ll need to duck under. Leisurely at first, the pace will slowly pick up until you need to mash the corresponding buttons with split-second timing in order to leap the mines, duck under a missile the second you land, then pop back up firing. At these speeds, the game’s as involving as it gets, and a respectable survival streak does feel like an accomplishment. Then you do it again. And again. And again.

Get to tha Choppa‘s charm lies in its shallow simplicity, but therein lies its biggest fault, too. The lack of depth will soon give the player little to look forward to but the droning actions they’ve undertaken uncountable times before. The graphics share the positive traits of a child’s lemonade stand with some of the letters drawn backwards; it’s a simplicity that quickly wears out its welcome as the cynicism sets in. Compared to the upper echelons of XBLI’s titles, even the purchase price of a dollar can feel like too much to ask for.

Why? Because Get to tha Choppa is a shallow point-rush game with the depth and cosmetic values of a simple flash game Now I’ve expanded more words than I needed to, I can slap a 3/10 on it, and call it a day.

Staff review by Gary Hartley (May 20, 2010)

Gary Hartley arbitrarily arrives, leaves a review for a game no one has heard of, then retreats to his 17th century castle in rural England to feed whatever lives in the moat and complain about you.

More Reviews by Gary Hartley [+]
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	zippdementia posted May 20, 2010: I really like this review, and the padded intro works better than it has any right to.
	EmP posted May 20, 2010: I'm going to regret using that intro if I continue to review some of the XBLI games I've been playing around with. I'll have to find other ways to pad things out a bit. On the other hand, it's nice to be able to spit out a simple review on a simple game now and then. I'm glad this one got across the points -- padding and all.
	wolfqueen001 posted June 10, 2010: haha. If anything, I'm amused with how cleverly you tied the conclusion and intro together. Without it, much of the intro really would have been irrelevant. In any case, I personally don't have a problem with this so-called word limit thing. If the game's too short or too inconsequential to say much about, then who cares if it's short? My problem with that thing is if the review clearly should explain more than it does because it's obvious that the game has a lot more to it. But I imagine that's almost never the case with games like this. To go along with that, I think what you said here was plenty enough, and presented well, too, to give a clear idea of what the game is like. I did find one more tiny thing in addition to all what Zipp mercifully pointed out. Because Get to tha Choppa is a shallow point-rush game with the depth and cosmetic values* of a simple flash game* should be value only, but that's really nitpicky.
	EmP posted June 11, 2010: I disagree, my good woman; there are multiple values that are lacking, hence the pural. So there!

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